My Life's Journey: With Mama Campbell

Sigh

2011-11-23T00:33:00.001-05:00

So not much new to report. Still broke thanks to more financial set backs. Ugh. Still cosleeping with a little boy who refuses to sleep (or even be) further then a foot away from me. He cries if I'm not in the same room as him, even if he's with familiar people. Brian stayed with him while I took the girls into their dentist appointment a few weeks ago & Brian said Noah cried the entire 1.5 hours we were in there. *sigh* I need a break away from him sometimes & can't get it. :o/

Noah is also still waking at night a lot, making me hate this situation more. And he barely eats still during the day too--he will eat about 2 bites of something before he refuses to eat more. It's SO frustrating because he dropped off the weight charts (he only gained 0.5lbs in 3 months & now weighs a whopping 18lbs) & he's grown length wise a little bit, but still is so tiny. It worries me. He is nursing a lot still, but when I'm pumping it's mainly foremilk now & very little hindmilk, where the fat mainly is. :o/

Maddy still doesn't poop on the potty consistently. More like 1x a week. I'm so frustrated with her, but can't let her feel that pressure. I'm letting her lead still, but trying to remind her to sit on the potty or catch her before she poops, but dang this girl is stubborn!!! I traded some diapers for training pants, and they're too big or she thinks they're diapers. Blah! :o/

I'm feeling pretty down about our situation lately & have been staying off of Facebook/twitter/blogging because I just don't feel like doing any of it. I'm trying to stay positive & rely on God for answers, but it's just hard sometimes.

So yeah, nothing new or exciting to write about. Just *sigh*

Sleep continued...

2011-11-04T23:13:00.001-04:00

So the other night was rough. After Noah fell asleep, he slept about 2 hours before he cried & we just couldn't do that to him anymore. I'm desperate for sleep, but not that desperate again. He slept better last night between us, but I think his last molar is finally coming through as he was really drooling & chomping down on stuff today. Poor guy. Just pray we start to get better sleep. I'm tired of being tired & cranky mommy. That's just no good for anyone.

Sleep

2011-11-02T23:28:00.000-04:00

So lately I've been really been resenting cosleeping with Noah. It's not bad if it's just the two of us, but with Brian in bed too, there's just no room. I've typically just rocked him or nursed him to sleep & then put him in the crib. He would wake after about an hour, I'd rock him back to sleep & he would sleep 2 hours & back up again. Then he would refuse to settle until we got up for the day. He wouldn't nurse, lay down in his spot (or any spot for that matter), would flip around, hit, fuss & cry. It's just been awful lately. He sleeps fine enough at my dad's where he has his own space in the room where the kids & I sleep, but once we are home: forget it!! I'm just tired of being so tired from it. My patience is thin, I'm short with my kids, I'm bitchy & just apathetic. Something needs to change & change soon. So tonight the girls camped out on the floor in our room while I let Noah cry it out. I went in every few minutes to calm him & then put him back in the crib where he instantly screamed & cried again. After an hour of this going in every 5 minutes, calming for 5-10 minutes, rinse & repeat....well, he did eventually fall asleep on his own about an hour ago. I feel bad for letting him cry, but I can't take it & Brian's no help with the nighttime routine. I wish I was a perfect mom who could handle a kid like him without crying.
I can't help but wonder if this might help Noah when I drop him off at the church nursery--he will know that I will be back for him then. I love being a 24/7 mommy at home with my kids, but I do need a little time to be me as well. I wish he would go to anyone but me all of the time. Is it possible he is too overly attached to his mama? Because if so, he definitely is. Ugh!!
I just don't know what else to do here. I just need Noah to sleep at night. Period. Then we can work on naps. Ugh. :(

My "Cloth Diapers Explained" Post! (part 1)

2011-10-25T15:09:00.000-04:00

I LOVE that my friends often refer me to their friends who are interested in cloth diapers. I've successfully "converted" several friends to cloth & have shared the fluffy love with a bunch of others. I love being a cloth diaper advocate & of course don't mind taking the time to answer any and all questions. So I figured it was about time that I wrote down all of that info and have it posted in one easy to find spot! So here goes!

First of all, I LOVE cloth diapering. I love how cloth diapers contain messes (especially breastfed baby poo if you're planning on nursing. that stuff is explosive!) I've only had 5 blowout diapers in the 2.5+ years I've been cloth diapering. I love how after the initial purchase, you never have to buy diapers again & save money (although it's so addictive, you just may find you "need" to buy more diapers from time to time). Noah's been using the same diapers my daughter Maddy wore & he's been a very inexpensive child between nursing & cloth diapering! :o) I love how I don't have to literally throw money away at each diaper change & I never have to frantically run to the store or scrape up a few bucks for another pack of diapers (which we did w/Sophie). I love how I am not contributing the 3rd largest single consumer item in landfills & keeping my babies bottoms out of all of those chemicals. Dioxin (a by product of the bleaching process of disposable diapers/feminine napkins) has proven links to cancer & it is illegal in most countries except for the US. I love how I decrease the risk of my baby boy having fertility problems or testicular cancer in the future, since disposables raise the temperature in a baby's testicles and cloth is more breathable and actually cools them down to a safe level. But most of all, I love how cute cloth diapers are!!!

ONE SIZE DIAPERS:

Many modern cloth diapers come sized for a better fit, or "one-size" (OS) to fit from 8-35ish pounds, supposedly from birth to potty training. You get the most out of OS diapers, but they don't always fit newborns well until they reach the 10lb mark and if you have a big toddler or late potty trainer (which many babies in cloth train sooner from feeling the wetness instead of the polymers in disposables soaking it away), it may be better to get a few sized ones as well. I love that my OS diapers can be adjusted in about 2 seconds to fit Noah or Maddy, depending on who needed the change & it cut down on the diapers in my diaper bag before Maddy was potty trained!

Two most common forms of OS diapers:

Fuzzi Bunz OS diaper with adjustable elastic in the legs & back by pocket opening.

Bum Genius OS diaper with snap down rise adjustment

DIAPER CLOSURES:
Most modern cloth diapers are secured with velcro or snaps. There are benefits and drawbacks to both, but I have both in my stash. Husbands, babysitters, grandparents & daycares typically find velcro the easiest to use (most like a disposable diaper) & I find I prefer velcro for a more adjustable fit. They're also very simple to grab for nighttime changes. I do prefer snaps on toddlers, so they cannot remove diapers on their own & I like how durable snaps are. Velcro tends to get curly & lose it's stick after a while, so it will need replaced eventually (they do sell refresher kits for Bum Genius or you can just go buy & cut velcro pieces to fit properly). It is a simple process when they need done & I don't mind doing it one bit if it means I get a little help changing diapers.

If you want to go old school, you can use pins still too. I personally am terrified of pins (I have several sets that I just haven't used ever on diapers), so I use something called a snappi (kinda like an ace bandage holder) to hold diapers shut. Great tutorial here for using snappis on newborns. But depending on folding techniques, you don't even need one of them.

Noah in a nb prefold closed by a blue snappi

PREFOLDS:
As for what diapers to get, it depends on what you want to get out of it--if you want cheap, I would suggest going with prefolded diapers & covers. They are cheap, and you fold them around your baby to contain messes & put a cover overtop of that to keep their clothes dry. I used these in the beginning & prefer these for the newborn poo days to keep messes contained with 2 separate layers of protection. These are typically the cheapest to find--costing around $2/diaper and $10-13 for a cover. I recommend 24-36 newborn prefolds and 5 covers to last the first few months at least. Prefolds are basically flat diapers (large piece of absorbent fabric) that are pre folded into a diaper with extra layers added to the middle & sewn together. You can fold them different ways as well to get more customized fits. HERE is a great tutorial.

My favorite brand is Cloth-eeze as they are super soft, pre-sized from preemie through toddler, so you don't have to custom fold them to cover your baby and thereby less bulky & they are amazingly absorbent. I keep these on hand even when I'm not diapering, because they are great spill catchers as well! My least favorite brand of prefolds is Gerber--they're just not as absorbent, no matter how many washes to prep them I did & they're not soft and fluffy either.

medium brown edged GMD prefold diaper unfolded

Orange (nb), Yellow (small) & brown--newly replaced with red (medium).

COVERS:

These have come a long way since the pull on plastic pants our grandmothers used! They're cute, durable, breathable & easy to use now. Fitted diapers & prefolds require covers to keep baby waterproof. There are 3 main types of materials used to make diaper covers: PUL (polyurethane laminate), fleece & wool. PUL & fleece are man-made materials, which tends to be easier to care for (just throw in the wash with your diapers if smelly or soiled--easy!) & wool comes from sheep, but needs to be handwashed and lanolized if they get poo on them or once a month or so. I love how wool breathes & is wicks away moisture for my heavy wetters & is antibacterial, but I also love how trim PUL covers are and low maintenance. And fleece is like the best of both of those worlds--low maintenance & very breathable.

Thirsties duo wrap size 2, PUL cover

inside of Thirsties duo wrap size 2

Thirsties duo wrap standard inner gussets! They contain EVERYTHING!

Wool diaper covers:
knit shorties (left), recycled sweater pull on cover (top right)
& Nifty Nappy recycled sweater wrap (bottom right)

POCKETS/ALL IN ONES:
If you want easy to use, I suggest starting with a pocket diaper (basically a cover with a stay dry layer that you stuff with an absorbent insert in between) or an all-in-one (AIO-a cover with an absorbent layer sewn in, so there's no stuffing--closest thing to a disposable diaper, except you wash & reuse). These diapers are typically more pricey at $15-20/diaper, and I'd recommend at least 20 diapers. I use these for my hubby to change, my parents/babysitters/etc. and many daycares will change these types as well, since they're very easy to use.

Bum Genius OS pocket diaper with snaps;
can also get them with velcro closures.

Inside of Bum Genius OS snap diaper--
the flap at the top covers the opening where you stuff inserts into the diaper.

Just Ducky AIO with hidden PUL layer.

Inside of Just Ducky AIO--no stuffing required.
Everything is already sewn in.

HYBRIDS/ALL IN TWOS:
If you want a hybrid system, there are diapers like grovia, gdiapers & flip that all have a cover and you put a disposable insert in the middle. You can toss/compost/flush most of these inserts and wipe the cover and you're good to go again. I find these the easiest to travel with since you just need an extra cover and several inserts; they take up very little room in my diaper bag this way! And if I need a disposable option, but don't want to support Pampers evil ways or prefer your baby to be in less chemicals while they need to be in disposables, hybrid systems are a great option. They also make cloth inserts for these diapers that you just wash the inserts between uses which are also called an all-in-two system (AI2).

Bum Genius Flip disposable insert (top) &
Gdiaper disposable insert (bottom)

Flip cover with disposable insert laid inside.

Outside of OS Flip cover

Flip organic (left) & stay dry (right) OS inserts.
These are to be washed & reused.

Grovia OS cover.

Grovia cover with cloth insert snapped into place

FITTEDS:
My personal favorites are fitted diapers (diapers that have snaps/velcro to keep them on baby securely, but are not waterproof & require a cover) and a wool cover. These tend to be a more pricey option though. And my favorite fitteds are from Nifty Nappy. I love how absorbent her hemp/bamboo fitteds are and how cute! The Heavy Doody fitted she designed is the only thing that kept my kids dry all night because of how many hemp layers & extra protection of a fitted and a cover on top. I don't even tend to use covers with them unless I'm going out of the house or putting Noah down for a nap. And while Vilate isn't selling diapers anymore, Red Barn Cloth Diapers is an official licensee for the Nifty Nappy cottage license & makes the same amazing fitted diapers now! YAY!

Nifty Nappy fitted diapers:
Regular fitted (left), Heavy Doody fitted (middle) & Bitty Bum (right)

Inside of Nifty Nappy fitteds with folded doublers for extra absorbency.

WASHING DIAPERS:
Washing diapers isn't hard either. I use 1-2 Tablespoons of Purex Free & Clear to wash a load of diapers, so that big $6 bottle lasts about 6 months washing every other day (when I have had 2 in cloth for 7 months; now I tend to wash every 2-3 days but my stash is big enough to make it much, much longer then that! lol!). There are fancy schmancy cloth diaper friendly detergent brands out there--but honestly, I didn't notice that big of a difference & the Purex got my diapers clean, bright & didn't cost a fortune. But my favorite fancy schmancy cloth diaper detergent is Clean B. While her customer service sucks, her product rocks & it's now only sold through retailers like Diapeze, so it's easier to obtain without waiting 6+ months. Clean diapers with a light scent that doesn't leave residue & rinses thoroughly (a common problem with some detergents is they cause build up on the diaper when they don't rinse clean or have things like brighteners in them that stick to clothing and diapers) & the scents are delicious!! There are also all natural options like soap nuts that you literally just throw the little bag of these dried berries in your washer. So cool!! I LOVE taking these along when I travel--no scoops or messes to deal with in my bag!

Clean B detergent (top left), Purex free & clear (right)
& EcoNuts (bottom left)

Breastfed baby poo is very water soluble, so ther's no need to rinse off diapers before washing either! I personally dunk & swish the poo off in the toilet before tossing them in the washer, but they also make little "diaper sprayers" that are basically kitchen sprayers hooked to a toilet that you can spray off poo and never have to even touch it. There are also flushable liners you can use so you can just flush the liner and poo away. Easy peasy. I store all of our dirty diapers in a trashcan with a waterproof pail liner and then take the pail liner w/diapers to the washer & wash everything. My routine is a to put the diapers & pail liner in my top loader on a 20 minutes cold/warm soak & rinse cycle (sometimes adding 1T of detergent if it's especially stinky) on the biggest load size we can make it go, then a hot/cold wash cycle on the medium load size with 1-2 T of detergent followed by a large load size on extra warm/hot rinse cycle. After reading THIS that Kim from Rockin' Green soap wrote, I discovered I was getting the most out of my washing & my method has morphed into the above. I've heard people use the argument that using all of that water can't be cost effective/good for the environment, but I haven't noticed a jump in our water bill from washing 2 or 3 loads of diapers a week and I have to remind them that water is a renewable resource (unlike the trash disposable diapers create let alone the process to make & ship them).

DIAPER CREAMS:
Anyway, let me get back on track here. You can't use regular diaper rash creams with cloth diapers as it will cause diapers to repel, but luckily most kids in cloth have fewer rashes from the breath-ability of cloth & getting changed more frequently. If the baby gets a rash, I use coconut oil (a tiny bit goes a LOOOONG way & is way cheaper than a white, zinc-based cream) & a it's typically gone in a day or so. I started using cloth with Maddy when she was a preemie because she kept getting horrid rashes from disposables & they went away with our switch to cloth. The few times I've had to use disposables since have been awful & made me even more grateful for having switched to cloth diapers for my kiddos.

WHERE TO BUY:
I get most of my cloth diapers preloved on the internet, since they're hard to come by in actual brick & mortar stores--and the ones you can find at Walmart or Babys 'R Us like the Gerber brand prefolds are just not very good. There are great deals to be found on craigslist, diaperswappers.com (you can buy diapers/accessories on their forum & their message boards are active with tons of moms eager to help), and several facebook groups (search fluff swappers & cloth diaper swap). I also scour the internet for great deals from mom & pop retailers with free shipping (abbyslane.com, cottonbabies.com & happybabycompany.com). While there's an upfront cost to cloth diapering, you will quickly find there are significant savings (a great diaper savings calculator here). Diaperpin.com is also great resource to find testimonials about certain brands. I'd recommend trying a few different types/brands before investing a lot of money somewhere.

I suggest checking out my cloth diaper picture album
and my newborn cloth diaper album
and even my "fluffy bums are cuter" album for good measure. ;o)

And it can't hurt to try them & if you don't find them to be a fit, you can always resell them & recoup at least 50% of the cost. I have been selling off some of the diapers I don't use very much and am always amazed when I get money for them--you can't sell a used disposable!

I am passionate about cloth diapers & would love to help spread the fluffy love to others! Ask me questions anytime & be on the look out for more cloth diapers explained posts!! I have SO much more to write! :o)

Happy Belated Birthday Sophia!

2011-10-20T13:58:00.000-04:00

I haven't posted in about a month. Yikes. Big happenings were that Sophie had an awesome birthday.

Sophie turned 5 last month. She's 5!!! That means I've been working my dream job for 5 years now. I am so amazed by her every day & while she just turned 5, sometimes it's hard to believe she's only 5, more like going on 14! lol!

She's a sweet, helpful girl who follows directions very well (unless it involves cleaning up toys), shares everything with her siblings, is a wondeful "little mother" to Maddy & Noah, can tie her own shoes, write her name & count to 100. She loves to learn & is trying to figure out how to read. She loves Monster High toys & her favorite doll is Lagoona Blue. Her favorite colors are pink & purple, she loves watching the Ravens with Daddy & still loves watching Strawberry Shortcake. She also loves to help me cook, make the beds, set the table, and pour drinks for everyone & has discovered she likes to earn an "allowance" of sorts when helping out. lol! I love this girl with all of my heart & am so proud of the little lady she's growing into. I'm thankful she still adores cuddling with mama, because I need it probably more than she does.

Her party was nice. Small & intimate, but she had a lot of fun & got a lot of neat toys too. My brother, Aaron & his girlfriend Jess gave the best present: the Lagoona Blue bed set that Sophie requests to look at each time we go to walmart. She was so happy!! :o)

Sophie in LOVE with her Lagoona Blue present!

opening more great presents!

blowing out her candles (with Maddy's "help")

She also requested I make a rainbow Monster High birthday cake, so I obliged (it was actually very easy! woo!) & everyone loved it. Yay!

cake before it was baked

decorated cake!

rainbow cake inside!

beautiful rainbow inside

I still cannot believe she's 5!!!! Jeesh, does time fly or what?!?!

Semi-Wordless Wednesday: Preemie Breast Milk

2011-09-21T14:21:00.000-04:00

I was packing up some baby bottles and storage containers and looking through an old bag full of stuff when I happened upon all of this:

different sizes of containers to put pumped milk into for Maddy while in the NICU

prescription label for any milk I pumped for Maddy while she was in the NICU

I will keep this in Maddy's keepsake box forever because it is just so neat & is a testament of how hard I worked to pump every precious ounce for her during those long 18 days in the NICU. But I just can't get over how neat it is to see Mothers Breast Milk as the prescription title. YES!! Now if only every preemie had access to human breast milk!

Crib sleeper?

2011-09-20T17:48:00.002-04:00

So Sunday night I put Noah in the crib after he fell asleep early & Brian was still going through clothes in our room & there was no space on our bed to lay him. He slept from 8pm-1am, was up for about an hour and couldn't settle himself until he was literally too exhausted to fight it & then slept until 7:30am!! I was so shocked, so last night he had a late nap *ugh* and went to sleep at like 11pm and put into the crib. He woke up around 5am, fussed and couldn't settle himself for about an hour, before I gave up and brought him back to my bed where he slept until around 8am. So testing out the crib is *knock on wood* working so far. I've been trying to keep him in the pack 'n play for naps during the day so he's used to that kinda setting too, but his naps are all over the place. I gotta hit up Wegmans sometime to get some Rescue Sleep to see if it will help regulate them a little better without crying or fussing. I don't mind waking 1 or even 2x a night with him, but I wish he would learn to self soothe so it doesn't take a whole hour, waking up either the girls (the crib is in their room) or Brian. So here's hoping we're on the upward swing of this night weaning/better sleep thing. I PRAY it is!!

We have good news & a plan!

2011-09-12T11:50:00.001-04:00

Time is flying by without more updates. Yikes.

The family is doing well. Brian got a new job working for the same company my older brother works for. Monday thru Friday, normal hours, decent pay & benefits. I'm in heaven! Now if only I could find a way to supplement our income from home. We have a plan in place to save save save and hopefully we'll be out on our own by spring again. We also need to get a new vehicle soon, as the repairs needed on our van are more then we paid for it PLUS it needs to be inspected, so saving for a new vehicle seems like the smarter choice to make right now.

I am really hopeful that things will be on the upswing now. I've been talking to God a lot about our situation & for help in making the peace. I want to be happy, positive & at peace in our lives and I'm slowly getting to that point with God's help. I'm also trying to keep losing weight. I've been praying for God to give me the strength to avoid temptations & when I feel the need to eat junk food, I pray for strength first. With just keeping track of my calorie intake on myfitnesspal.com (through the mobile app since it's SO convenient & FREE), I'm more aware of what I'm fueling my body with and making better choices. I've lost 5.5lbs in a month and I'll be honest, I've only purposely exercised 1 or 2 times. So as I rid our home of junk (it's tough when it's not your house & the people who own it keep lots of junk around) & get my hubby & kids on board, I am seeing some progress. I need to start waking earlier and doing some exercise early before I get busy with kids.

Noah is still working on molars, but thankfully I traded for a new baltic amber teething necklace (we've managed to lose our other 3. ugh!) & he's a different baby when that's on. He's been eating more table food and still nursing a lot in the meantime. I'm debating on night weaning him soon so we can all get more sleep as he moves around a lot and fusses, waking me and Brian up. I think once he's night weaned, I'll start weaning him from cosleeping too. I am hoping we will get him sleeping through the night in his own bed very soon. I know as much as I like cosleeping and nursing all night, it's not good for the rest of the family & Noah seems to need better quality sleep too. I'm just really dreading doing it.

Mentally, I feel a lot better then I have in a long time & I am attributing it to praying for strength, patience & for less stress. Prayer & meditation are really working in my life to make it better. God is just awesome!

Alright, I need to go. Noah's up from his 30 minute nap. Boo!!

Random Nursing Toddler Musings

2011-08-22T00:21:00.000-04:00

I cannot believe I'm breastfeeding a toddler!! I cannot believe I made it past a year and going strong. So amazing!

Breastfeeding a toddler has it's ups & downs. For one, Noah has been nursing a TON since we weaned him off of the donor milk. He must miss his sweet breastmilk, but luckily, he gets whatever I have still. He's so squirmy and gets distracted very easily. And he's heavy to hold at times, depending on where we are when he wants to nurse.

But he's much more efficient now when he wants to be. He is so cute when he's nursing and snuggling in close. I know that I can nurse him to get him to calm down, fix any boo boos, to get him to sleep or if he wants a snack. My breasts finally provide the perfect amount of milk for a snacking toddler and by him nursing so frequently still, I am maintaining my supply well. A nursing toddler will also let you know how much they appreciate you nursing them: Noah smiles, claps & giggles when he sees me unclasp my nursing bra and lift my shirt. He gets so excited that I let him nurse whenever he wants & I can see he appreciation in his eyes.

And today I had a nursing first. Noah was following me around while I was cleaning up lunch fussing at me and saying, "Na Na's". He didn't quit until I stopped and nursed him. I always thought he was calling my boobs that, but it wasn't completely confirmed until today. That is the sweetest memory I have yet.

I am so tickled he's my booby baby boy & I don't see any signs of weaning anytime soon. <3

Eat Noah Eat!

2011-08-10T14:39:00.000-04:00

So Noah hasn't been a big solids eater yet...mostly just plays and nibbles here and there. He didn't even chow down on his birthday cake because he's just not into foods much yet. Which would be fine if he wasn't so tiny. I worry about how he's growing so slowly and worry about him only eating 2 noodles at lunch today after refusing breakfast. I've been weaning him onto whole milk from my donor milk & have been out of donor milk for about a week now. He was doing fine with it until yesterday when he refused to drink any milk. He nursed literally every hour of the day yesterday until he went to bed and woke up at least 4 or 5x. He's addicted to the bewb juice & won't accept anything but.

I know he's got to be hungry after barely eating all day, but he just won't do more than a nibble. SO frustrating! I have been thinking about calling my donor mom and asking to have a little more milk because the boy won't eat & I'm afraid of him going hungry. I've heard mom's suggest offering only foods high in *good* fats, but he won't touch avocado anymore or things like cottage cheese either. I'm tempted to start putting flaxseed oil in all of his food/milk too to help him gain a little too. Why won't he just eat?

I'm just getting worried. It might be for nothing. It might be the combo of new whole milk, teething 4 molars & generally just being 1 that's causing a ruckus in the eating department. But I'm his mama & it's my job to worry darnit!

Mr. Noah is a Whole Year Old!!

2011-08-06T17:51:00.000-04:00

I cannot believe my baby boy is already a year old! He's walking, waving & saying hi & bye, calls for "mama" & "dada" and is a climber! He climbs on top of EVERYTHING & dang is he fast! I cannot believe that a year ago I was holding a tiny, newborn baby boy in my arms and now he's really growing into a toddler. So bittersweet.

We had his 1 year checkup last week and he was 17.6lbs & 28.5" long (somewhere in the 3-5%). A petite little guy still, but the doctor said developmentally he's about 3 months ahead. Those kind of comments always make ya feel good, don't they?! 8 teeth in & as I suspected, he's starting to get his 1 year old molars in (molars are the WORST to get in. cranky city! boo!).

We're also still nursing!!! Holy cow! I am astonished by how good it feels to have made it to that 1 year mark. I mean, it feels really really really good. I love our nursing sessions (probably 4-6x a day still) & hope he doesn't wean himself anytime soon. All of my hard work has definitely paid off!!

This morning we went to an event called the "Big Latch On" where mama's latch their babies at the same time to beat a world record of the most mamas breastfeeding at a set time. It was amazing to be in a room with 20 other nursing mams & not get the eye rolls or looks from certain family members. Noah didn't nurse so well because he was so distracted by all of the people there, so maybe our days of successful nursing in public have come to an end, but that's ok too. I'm still in awe of having milk for my baby--now technically my todder--a year later!

I think part of my breastfeeding success is from not setting my goals too high this time. My goal was simple: nurse until I didn't have any more milk. Be it a day, a week or a month (or a year!)--as long as my breasts make milk, my baby will receive it. I had good information, good support in those early days from my hubby & Mom (this is SO important in establishing a strong supply) & the will power to keep going when I really just wanted to give up. It helped me to not have much support from my extended family, as it gave me more inspiration to prove them wrong. lol!

I'm grateful for a healthy, smart, fun baby boy that surprised our family. But I could not imagine life any other way. Happy birthday Noah buddy! We love you!!!

Far far away

2011-07-21T23:28:00.001-04:00

I freaking love being far far away from my MIL. My kids are all much happier & aren't going batt shit crazy like they have been the past 2 days. I'm in a much calmer, more peaceful mood & I'm sure the kiddos are also picking up on the vibe.

We need out for good like now. I don't want to feel the strain & bitterness anymore. We need to be a happy single family unit once more. It will be better for everyone. We just need the steady good paying job that is required to pay the rent again. Yes, these $8/hour jobs are great for someone in college, but to support a family of 5, they just don't cut it. I wish I had an ounce of talent to sell something to help out. I don't. But I'm thinking of babysitting again once we get a new place to get some extra income to help out.

Ugh. We just need to be far, far away from family who doesn't treat us with love & respect. That's why we escape to my dad's every weekend for the past 2 months. Dad & Judy are amazing. They love us, aren't bitter towards us or bark commands. They don't get mad if I wash the dishes or the kids play with toys where we can see them. They even play with my kids!! I can't express just how grateful I am to have dad & Judy be such amazing grandparents and show their grandkids respect and love. No wonder the girls wanna go see Oma & Opa all of the time!! They know where they're wanted & where they're not.

I keep trying to tiptoe around my MIL & play nice since they are letting us love there, but she's grouchy no matter what, so I wonder why I even bother. My FIL is great. Plays with the kids, loves them, teaches them & treats them with dignity & respect. Just can' get it through to my MIL. I guess because part of it is the fact were not her favorites & my kids aren't perfect like she believes our nephew is.

I just keep praying that God will finally answer our prayers & give is the opportunity to get far far far away from my MIL & this situation. We are ready Lord!! Just waiting on you! Please hear our prayers!!

Wordless Wednesday: My WALKER!!!

2011-07-20T12:37:00.001-04:00

Oh poo!

2011-06-30T20:43:00.001-04:00

Literally! My days seem to consumed by poo lately. Maddy has been daytime potty trained for months now & all of the sudden she is regressing & not pooping on the potty. I think she's done it 1x in the past week? Ugh!! I wish I knew what to do aside from being gentle & reminding her that poop goes in the potty. Is it because we spend most of our days outside now & she's out of her element? Blah! I'm considering getting her some side snapping training pants because cleanly poo out of panties that are being worn sucks. Poor Maddy is so skinny that her chicken legs won't keep the trainers we do have on her legs without huge gaps which will lead to leaks. Blah!

And Noah's been having some gnarly messy poos from this cold he's fighting. They've been contained in our new stash of Nifty Nappy fitters, but they've been epic! Twice now I've been able to catch his signal for poop & race him to the potty. I just wish I had the patience for doing EC with him.

So sorry for the lack of posts, but I'm literally dealing with a lot of poo lately!! :op

Insomnia & Family

2011-06-15T01:40:00.000-04:00

Lately I've been having awful insomnia at night. I'm exhausted, but just can't settle myself into sleep. I am hoping that this weekend will relieve some of that since I'll be at my dad's with the kiddos for family reunions/parties/visiting and I get some help from dad & Judy.

Maybe I'm just really psyched to visit with my mom in Thursday (I am!!) after our soul cleaning 2 hour long chat the other day. I miss her so freaking much & am desperately praying for us to live closer to one another again.

I'm excited to see dad & Judy because I really really miss them too. And I cannot wait to see my brothers on Sunday!!! I miss them bunches!!

I just really miss my family. Maybe that's contributing to my sleeping issues. I need all of them to feel good. And that's not a bad thing--it's how we were designed. I simply cannot fathom how someone can live on the opposite side of the country or in a totally foreign land and not be completely depressed about not getting to see their family & hug them often. Call me crazy, but I pray now that my children won't live too far away when they're grown, because it would surely break my heart into a million pieces.

Anyway, I just hope that I will feel enough love & peace while I'm around my family to help me sleep better. <3

HS Facebook Friendings

2011-06-07T02:15:00.002-04:00

As Facebook gets bigger, I'm finding myself becoming friends with more people I went to high school with. It's a neat way to see what they've been up to and how the majority of them are stately families. It's also neat to see people who you despised turn out to be decent people & the "popular" crowd turn back into nobodies.

One trend that's been happening to me lately though is that a few guys who I went to school with friend me & admit that they had a crush on me throughout high school. I'm a bit flattered at first, but then get annoyed that they never told me so in high school.

I was an emotional mess in high school. I stayed busy in every club & activity imaginable to push on through the anxiety & depression and to keep up appearances that I was happy. I had my first boyfriend in 10th grade for about 3 months. I was mean & broke up w/him on the phone & he was crushed. I still feel bad about it. I also was involved with one of my older brother's friends for about a month when I was 16, which resulted in a massive heartbreak on my end & feeling worthless and unloveable for years. I felt ruined & was so sure that no one would ever be attracted to me, especially since I believed I was disgustingly fat (I wasn't) & that somehow made me repulsive to the opposite sex.

I remember crying myself to sleep & writing in my live journal (ha! Remember those?) & in my real journal about boys I dreamed would like me, but they'd end up liking my friends. I was dejected, alone & miserable.

When I went to college, I found a new sense of self and a new beginning. I could bust out of that shell of a person I was & gained confidence. I dated & was otherwise involved with several guys before meeting Brian & discovering what honest to goodness love was like. I loved who I became in college & while I'm not the same strength of that version of me now, I know she's still inside somewhere.

Anyways, when a few of my high school friends recently admitted they had crushes on me, I got kinda pissed at why they didn't have the guts to tell me & save me from the emotional hell that I put myself through.

And then a twitter friend, @LifeWithLevi, said, "I kind of think "I had a crush on you then" is codespeak for "wow, you're super awesome now & I missed out"". And it made me glad they didn't say anything a decade ago, or I might not have become the amazing woman I know I am today.

So here's to you cowardly boys from high school. Thank you for not sharing your feelings with me then, because I like my life & my family as they are now & wouldn't change it for the world.

Unattaching?

2011-06-05T00:22:00.000-04:00

I love trusting my instincts to parent my children. It gives me greater fulfillment then listening to an "expert" & my children are all attached, but at the same time intensely independent. The girls exude confidence & are extremely social. Something I am not good at. It's so great to watch.

The only problem is that Noah seems to be a little TOO attached. As in, no one but me can hold him/change him/feed him/touch him/get him to sleep/care for him in any way shape or form. I am getting exhausted. He wails for me if I'm not in eyesight, even if daddy & his sisters are right there. He is getting to be a challenge to nap & still wakes a bazillion times a night. I don't get a break from him & I need one. I was hoping going to work out at the Y would turn into "me" time, but he's screamed for me so much that they almost instantly call for me to come back. I cant even put him in the dang playpen to work out here because of the crying & fussing. I'm at my wits end!

How do you unattach yourself from your overly attached baby? I feel like I'm climbing a slippery slope of barely not losing my mind here & I know I sometimes let my frustrations out on the girls by yelling. I HATE hearing myself yell. HATE HATE HATE IT! But what else can I do about Noah's very intense demands?

Thoughts of sleep training & CIO cloudy mind and are looking tempting, Which makes me feel even worse. Pair that with his awful latch right now and my supply plummeting. I'm feeling like a pretty big failure. I don't know how to find some middle ground here. Anyone have any suggestions?

And yeah, his latch is lazy & tight. As if he thinks I am a straw (which is ironic since he hasn't figures out how to use a real straw yet). He has given me raw blisters & cracked, bleeding nipples, but I am SO close to making it to 1 year that I can't just give up now. I'm calling WIC this week to see I'd they have any suggestions, because I've tried all of the tricks in my bag & still dread every nursing session from the inevitable pain. Boo!

I hope to find some resolutions that work for us very soon!!

Wordless Wednesday: Grandma & her Campbell kids

2011-06-01T13:50:00.001-04:00

<3 <3 <3 <3

I'm a slacker

2011-05-21T10:50:00.000-04:00

I haven't touched my blog in forever. blah! Life's just been so busy & I don't have time to type what I want to post about. Too bad there's no app to blog your thought stream without having to type it out. I get my best blogging ideas in the shower it seems & by the time I'm dressed & dealt with the kids, it's gone. Sorry for the long delay in between postings. I will try to do better!

Updates: Brian got a job--it's crap pay, crap hours, but potential for advancing quickly & in a field he loves. Plus, there's that whole "you get a job when you have a job" thing we're counting on happening. But a crappy job with little pay is better than no job w/out pay, right?

Sophie loves playing outside with her new friend Island and they literally play on the grass patch between our homes every single day. It's so cute to watch. She's been happier since playing outside so much, which I'm glad she can now. She is so freaking smart too. I cannot get over how much she knows, without going to school and not watching much "preschool on tv" or computer time. I've been making sure everyone knows that I don't want my kids to have much sedentary time, but would rather they run & play or sit at their table to play Barbies or something. And it really does help their moods improve instead of how crazy tv makes them act.

Maddy is a total copycat! I forgot how much fun this age is to watch. Her words have been sounding better & better too and she has a TON of them. I'm a bit worried that she doesn't speak in more that 1 or 2 word phrases, but I guess that will come in time too. I do plan on discussing it at her next well-check doctor visit in July though, just to make sure. She's also been quite the drama queen (a downside of this age. lol!). Like this morning, I gave her a cup with a blue lid and apparently she wanted the red lid, so she fell to the floor in a slump and threw a mother of all tantrums. I let her work it out and when she calmed down, talked to her about her feelings, but I have a feeling she's going to be overly dramatic like a certain 4.5 year old I know!

Noah is growing up so fast. So bittersweet. He cruises around everything & has been balancing himself & letting go for a few seconds at a time now too. It won't be long before he takes some steps I believe. He's been sleeping better *knock on wood* since his 4th tooth came in, now only waking 1-2x a night. I don't mind this one bit compared to the waking every hour or half-hour he had been doing for a long while there. He's still in our bed, but I'm thinking about transitioning him to the crib for naps, since his nap spot on the floor isn't the best either as he pulls up on everything and touches everything instead of sleeping. The girls have bunkbeds now (and Maddy sleeps great there--she waits until at least 7:30am to get out of bed to get me, so that's great!) so we have an empty crib. Gotta fill that space with babies, right? lol!

I'm trying to stay active & went down a pants size. I have no idea what I weigh or how much I've lost since our scale broke, but I think I don't want to know. Less pressure on seeing a specific number and being disappointed if it's not there. I have been doing Jillian Michael's 30 day shred (thank you Netflix!) when I get the chance to, but have been focusing on making better food choices & uping my water. I just got word that we've been approved for a gym sponsorship to help cover the costs at the YMCA, so hopefully we'll be going down there a lot more to get in better shape too.

Next weekend I'm going to be house/pet sitting for my dad & Judy again. We did it last weekend while they were away (and Brian worked all but Sunday so it was mostly me 24/7 with the kids and the pets), but this time they're taking Sophie along with them (yay!) so I'll be down to only 2 kids! It's gonna be a breeze! lol! I'm looking forward to a little break and LOVE that they want to take Sophie somewhere. Some of my best memories from childhood are staying at my grandmas for a few days or going places with her for the weekend & I'm glad my dad & Judy are taking the initiative to spend time with their grand kids like that too. They ROCK! :o)

Alrighty, I've ignored the mess long enough. I hope there will be more postings soon so I'm not such a blog slacker anymore! ;o)

SeaPak Review & Giveaway!!

2011-04-27T15:04:00.002-04:00

Do you love seafood? I know I certainly do! We are big seafood fans in this family and take every opportunity we can to find new things to try, so we were very excited when SeaPak contacted me for a review!

The SeaPak Shrimp Company is the #1 retail brand within the frozen specialty seafood category. For 60 years, they've provided the highest quality, best-tasting shrimp. And at least 50% of their seafood is wild caught, which means a lot to me.

We recieved a coupon good for a free item up to $6.99, so I scoured the local grocery store adds to see if anyone had any sales. Sure enough, one did, so we were able to get a big box of clam strips with the coupon, since the girls never had them & the last time I had a clam strip (back in my school days at the cafeteria), it wasn't very good--soggy outside, rubbery inside and flavorless. I was anxious to see what SeaPak's version were like!

When we came home, I heated up some coconut oil in a big pan on the stove and got the clam strips out of the box to get ready to cook up.

I put about half the bag in the pan to fry up & it only took maybe 3-4 minutes until they were golden & crispy! Talk about a quick lunch! And very simple too, which totally rocks in my book!

We put them on paper towels to drain any excess oil off and then dug in!

My girls LOVED them! They typically are cautious trying something new, but they chowed right down. When I got to finally try some, I was pleasantly surprised. The clam strips were crispy, full of flavor & not rubbery like I remembered my other experiences with clam strips were. They were so good, Sophie (yes, my picky eater) asked if we can get them again because she loved them that much.

So I HIGHLY recommend SeaPak's clam strips, but that's not all they have to offer! They also carry a huge variety of other seafood products including Jumbo Butterfly Shrimp, Popcorn Shrimp, Shrimp Scampi, Coconut Shrimp, crab cakes, salmon cakes, Tilapia Tenders, & popcorn fish. Check your local grocer's frozen seafood section for all of these great options from SeaPak.

Want to try an item of your own?!?

Win it:

One lucky follower will win a coupon for a FREE SeaPak item of their choice!!!

Mandatory Entry:

You MUST follow me on Google Friend Connect (right hand side of my blog) AND leave a comment telling me what SeaPak item you would try. You must leave your email address in this comment for it to count!

(this is mandatory. no other entries will count if this is not done.)

Additional Entries:

(leave separate comments for each if you want them to count)

~~Follow me (@MamaCampbell) on Twitter for 1 extra entry

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#Win a tasty SeaPak coupon from @MamaCampbell http://tinyurl.com/seapak #giveaway ends 5/11

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Giveaway open to US only. Winners will be picked via Random.org & will have 48 hours to respond to my email before alternative winners are picked. Good luck!

This giveaway will close on May 11, 2011 at 10pm EST.

The products featured in this review were provided to us free of charge for the purpose of the review, no other compensation was received. All opinions expressed are my own.

Ask & Ye Shall Recieve: Eats on Feets Addition

2011-04-15T10:47:00.001-04:00

So, back in January, I was lamenting that I didn't make any substantial milky mama matches yet & was getting very frustrated--on the verge of giving up looking for donor milk for Noah. We had been looking without successful matches for 3 months and I was growing weary of getting excited at a potential donor, only for the match to fizzle out. Well, about a week later, I got onto Eats on Feets again & read the "have available" discussion posts & low and behold, there was milk available. Not only was it available, it was local! I was excited, since it felt different this time around & it was! We finally made some matches! Not just 1 or 2, but 4 of them and a potential 5th (and to be fair, we had 1 other donor with about 40oz last fall, so Noah's had 5+ milky mamas give him their liquid gold)! And a few of the mamas are going to continue pumping to supply us with constant milk!!

I hold a special place in my heart for them & have made some new friends in the process. Some mamas even baby wear & cloth diaper! Woo hoo! I screen my donors carefully & a requirement I make is I must know who they are on their facebook page beforehand & lemme tell you that I am an excellent facebook page stalker! I probably know more about my milky mamas then some of their friends do. lol! But now it's SO neat having one of them comment on my status or comment on a picture (and I do the same obviously). I love these unique friendships which are so personal and meaningful because of a selfless act--a total stranger pumped her breastmilk and wanted to share some with another baby (or 2 or 3) who needs it. I am in total awe of them! <3

The one mama I meet now regularly lives about 10 minutes away & has an overactive supply in that she's pumping a liter of milk a day at work just to relieve engorgement & is feeding 2 other babies as well as her son! She's awesome (and just asked me about wanting to switch to cloth diapers! Yay!)!! Another mama I met pumped milk for her triplets through their first birthday! Another has linked me to new attachment parenting resources. I just love how amazing these mamas are! I hold a special place in my heart for them.

So I've been spending these past few months now collecting milk from the different mamas and Noah's only had a handful of artificial milk bottles in between (lets call it what it is--formula is really just artificial breastmilk we feel better feeding to our vulnerable infants by just giving a different name). He's been a happier baby (and he's even had the pain from 2 teeth come in & an ear infection! He just doesn't fuss much about anything, but that formula made his tummy hurt & fussy) & I feel like I've been making more milk because I'm not stressing about having to give him artificial milk. I despise that Good Start artificial milk can and it feels GREAT to see it sit there, unopened! :o)

So our current total of donor milk we've received: 1703.75oz!!!! I'm keeping a tally of all that we're donated & have no doubt in my mind that we'll have milk for Noah until he's 1 year old+ (my new goal). What some awesome mamas out there!!! :o)

Wordless Wednesday--Recycled Crayons

2011-04-13T11:37:00.001-04:00

Sleep Will Happen (ie: I'm feeling a bit better about it)

2011-04-11T00:10:00.001-04:00

So I came across this article today reposted on Peaceful Parenting's facebook page. It was exactly what I needed today too.

It was an excerpt of an article Dr. William Sears wrote & basically reminds me that night wakings are actually a good thing! They are a protective feature against SIDS.

"...infants are not designed to sleep through the night until they're mature enough to do so safely."

This actually makes me feel a lot better about Noah's rough sleeping lately. He obviously has a need to be awake still, I just have to figure out how to meet that need. Maybe it's a growth spurt or new skill that keeps his mind working overtime (he does pull up to standing on EVERYTHING now & cruises around furniture).

While I wish we could put the mattress on the floor, since I know I'd feel Noah would be safer, but living where we do, we utilize every inch of storage space and we use the space under the bed, the entire (and I mean, entire) closet, have stuff stacked in hallway, in the girls room, pretty much everywhere possible. 4 adults, 2 kids and a baby in a very small 3 bedroom townhouse isn't exactly roomy.

So I think I've decided I want to either let Noah nap in Maddy's crib or set up a pack 'n play somewhere (ha!) and try naps there. I've been starting to wake him up earlier in the morning and try to push naps back as long as possible. We did good Friday & Saturday with them, but today he snuck in a short evening nap and was up until about 11pm because of it. I just need to stay strong and I know we can kick this.

I'm also thinking of adding another "food" meal too. Noah gets about the equivalent of a jar of baby puree at dinner and sometimes lunch when I remember to. He's been acting like he could eat more, so I think I'm gonna try yogurt in the morning as well and see if that helps keep his tummy full for better daytime naps. Getting his naps straightened out is key, so wish me luck getting them straightened out!

Sleep Help NEEDED--PLEASE!!

2011-04-07T00:39:00.000-04:00

I am pleading for help with Noah. I need a good night's sleep that doesn't start at 12:30am and last until around 7amish (thanks to my girls) with 2-3 feeds in between. I don't mind night nursing one bit--I mind the going to bed at midnight crap!! The kid just won't sleep!

I am failing at a schedule with him & failing bad. So much so, that I'm starting to consider giving up bed sharing (which I really don't want), letting him CIO (which I really don't want) & starting on formula again (which I really don't want) just to get some decent sleep on my end. I'm just desperate on how to get him to be a "wake up around 7 or 8am" baby who goes to bed around 7 or 8pm too. I miss the crazy newborn days--he was much easier then & a way better & longer sleeper then.

And naps. Oh EFF them! Noah takes 3ish crappy naps daily and I don't know how to get him to take good ones or how to get him to take them safely (hence the considering not bedsharing thing--he crawls on the bed, even with 10 pillows acting as a baby barricade & I'm terrified of him falling off the bed).

This lack of decent sleep thing has made me into a snappy, cranky mommy. I want to be my old self again & not feel so on edge every moment of every day. I want to feel like I'm in control of at least something in my life, since everything else seems to be still spiraling out of control. Ugh.

So please, help me!!! Tell me what to do, when to do it, how to do it...what works, what doesn't work. I'm completely clueless & about to lose my mind for good.

Wordless Wednesday--"Clown Makeup" Maddy

2011-04-06T09:31:00.001-04:00

This is what happens when your 4.5 year old decides to make your 2 year old into a clown using a Sharpie marker........

And this is what happens after a frantic mama asks for help removing said Sharpie on facebook & twitter........

So remember, vinegar & water will remove blue permanent marker from a 2 year old's face. Never a dull moment around here, huh?

CSN Review (from November)

2011-04-03T09:19:00.000-04:00

So back in November, I was contacted to do a review for CSN stores. I shared it on my blog & was having fun looking through all of the stuff they offer to find something I'd like for our review. I was so excited! I picked out this Baltimore Ravens frame. It cost a little more than the voucher to have it shipped, so I paid the difference and patiently awaited its arrival. When it didn't arrive after a few weeks into December, I contacted CSN to find out what happened. Apparently they don't have these in stock & never bothered to take down the link, so they sent me a refund for my portion and said they'd reissue me a voucher for the review.

Fair enough. So I waited...and waited...and waited...and waited. Weeks turned into over a month with no reply, so I contacted again in January. They apologized and said they'd get it sent out. So I waited again. Nada. Finally after nearly 2 months of this, I tweeted that CSN stores is awful with contact and the treatment of its reviewers. I got instant communication then! They tweeted at me to tell me to email a certain address to have this straightened out. So I emailed (mid February now) and within a week, they solved the problem and regenerated a new code. I didn't have extra money to use it that day, so I waited until I had a little extra to get that neat frame for our family Ravens picture. I tried to use it and it came up as expired. What? I JUST had it generated!

So again, I emailed....and waited...and waited. When they finally emailed me back, they explained that codes are time sensitive and they're sorry, but they won't regenerate a code. I emailed them in mid March telling them (again) that I was supposed to receive a code to review their company for my blog. This time I shared how disappointed I was in the lack of customer service on their part & I would hate to put that in my review. Surprisingly, I got an email back within 24 hours that was very apologetic. They sent along a new code & wrote a nice letter sounding very butt-kissy, but I appreciated that extra effort finally.

So I went to look around on CSN this weekend and they added even more, better things since November. At first, I wanted to get a new cloth diaper. But then I remembered I have a bunch of diapers coming whenever Vilate's done making them, so that's out. Then I though about a sprinkler or toy for the girls this summer, but Brian reminded me that we don't have a good place for one here. Boo! Did you know they carry babywearing carriers, wraps & slings? I kinda wanted to get one of those, but I have a ton already. I spent hours looking through stuff before I spied a few things I had been wanting, but didn't even realize they carry! I got a nursing necklace (to hopefully distract Noah while nursing--he's all over the place lately), some paints & paint brushes for the girls Easter baskets & a cute Melissa & Doug toy for Noah's Easter basket. Yes, I got all of that with a $35 voucher! CSN's prices are excellent & their shipping is cheap and even FREE on some items! Talk about bang for you buck!

I was very pleased with how many great things they offered & their easy checkout process. The look of the store even changed a bit since November & when I tried to order 2 of the paintbrush cups, the site informed me that there was only 1 in stock rather than making me wait until I was completely checked out & things just didn't ship like last time. Then I got my confirmation email that some things were shipped already! I placed my order around 1am on a Saturday morning & got a confirmation that a few of the items shipped before 3pm that same day! Holy cow talk about awesome! I was seriously excited by this fast shipment. Everything was promised to be here before the 1st and it all was! Talk about fast shipping, from 3 different suppliers too!

The goodies we received in plenty of time to go into the Easter baskets!

So there ya have it. My CSN review. I am glad that after several months, they finally got their customer service in order and treated me with some dignity & respect (especially since I was doing a review for them!). If you had asked me a week ago what I thought about CSN, I would've probably called them some mean names. But they righted their wrongs, took the blame for their shortcomings (which is RARE this day in age where no one wants to admit fault) & made me a very pleased customer. Thank you CSN for turning me into a lifelong customer! Even after all of this trouble in the beginning, I will happily be back to shop & I recommend them to all of my readers! Check out the TONS of stuff they offer!

updates and random thoughts again

2011-03-27T12:46:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the lack of posts lately! We are finally getting over the sickies in this house! After nearly 2 weeks of everyone but me catching a cold or the flu. *knock on wood* We're hopefully on the upswing now. Noah still has a cold & is likely teething again, so hopefully we're on the way to get healthy...since it IS spring now afterall! ;o)

But in the meantime, Noah has started actual crawling & he loves the freedom. He also hates me being out of eye sight, so he crawls, bawling his eyes out to find me. It's pitiful and adorable all rolled into one. He's got such an amazing little personality shining through, it's just fun to watch him play and move. He loves crawling around my chair & got so ticked that there was a diaper bag in the way yesterday. Cuteness!!

Maddy has been down to 1 diaper a day now for nearly 2 weeks. I started practicing w/her on the potty before she got the flu, and then went back into diapers when she was sick, though she fussed every time she peed, even w/stay dry liners. So she finally felt good a weekish ago, we put her back into panties all day. She had a handful of accidents, but mostly dry! We even went out and about all weekend in only panties & the kid loves using public toilets. Gross, but whatever works, right? She's about 50% poo trained, as in she tells me she's going poo and then doesn't always wait for the potty. But I think with a little m&m encouragement, she'll have that down in no time too. It's nice being down to just 1 kid in diapers, I won't lie, but I also miss seeing her fluffy butt peeking through the top of her jeans. I am amazed by the "new" pants that fit again too. lol! She's also had another language explosion. She's probably got close to 50 words now? I don't know how many, but she knows a few colors, how old she is and some random things too. Even though it's all still in "Maddy-ease", I can at least understand what she's trying to tell me. It's so adorable!

Sophie's started doing chores with an allowance-typed of incentive. She's saving her money for a Polly Pocket toy from Walmart & is doing a great job finding chores to do. I sometimes forget she's only 4, because she's so mature & acts much older. Heck, she's so tall, she even looks much older too! I am looking forward to summer, so I don't have to buy more pants that will be outgrown in a matter of weeks. Shorts last through growth spurts better. lol!

We visited with my mom a bit over a week ago & that felt amazing to see her after almost 2 months! Just entirely too long! She's doing well & actually had to get a hair cut since it's all coming in at different times & it needed evened out. She seems to be in a really good place emotionally & really focusing in on what's important to her and what's not. She's determined to get an apartment down in the Lancaster area within a year (if not move down here for good! oh I can hope!) and said that she needs to spend more time with her grandbabies. She feels like she's missed so much in the last year--actually more than that--since we moved really, but she's ready to find ways to see them as much as possible. Yay!!

My cousin Laura had her baby last Monday!! I'm so proud & excited for her to begin this journey. She was my best friend when I was little & we spent hours and hours and hours playing with our babies & practicing to become mommies. Her baby was Jessica & mine was Abigail. So when I found out she was expecting, I was tickled for us to be mommies for real now together. We lost contact for a few years while I was in college & she was teaching, but this fall I started emailing her & reconnecting. It's been amazing for both of us to have that friendship back & I hope we'll be able to move closer to her again. That would rock! Anyway, she was due on Tuesday & her mom was so worried about her labor/delivery that she kept calling me in mid-panic attack for the weeks beforehand to calm my aunt down (Laura had a pretty serious heart condition & required open heart surgery about 10ish years ago). So Laura didn't call her mom to tell her things were moving until after the baby arrived. If you know my family, this was a SMART MOVE! :o) hehe. Abigail Grace was 7lbs, 9oz & 19 inches long. (my "baby" name and Sophie's middle name! Aww!) My Aunt was the first grandma to hold her & said she's absolutely in love! Laura is doing well & she's working hard to breastfeed. I gave her a slew of books, lots of emails, talks, information, answered questions---you name it while she was preggo, so she's got a good support system started (no one else on that side of the family ever nursed their babies--so I'm the only one & I want to help her as much as I can!). When I talked to her yesterday, her milk hadn't come in yet, but she went to a lactation consultant to get a game plan of things to do and she said she felt really good about it & was glad I told her what to do if she needed help. I'm so proud of her!! I worry that she has IGT, since she showed many of the same classic signs I do, but she's determined! :o) I hope to get to visit Laura & her baby next week to see how things are going and help if need be.

We visited with my dad & Judy Friday night/Saturday & the girls got to play outside. They LOVE going to Opa & Omas & I don't blame them. I do too! ;o)

I feel like I have so much to say and do, but just no time to say or do any of it lately. Hopefully I feel more control of things again very soon.

Making A Difference

2011-03-13T22:31:00.001-04:00

Got this in an email forward from my grandma & I gotta pass it along:

The next time you feel like YOU can't make a difference, remember...

Noah was a drunk
Abraham was too old
Isaac was a daydreamer
Jacob was a liar
Leah was not attractive
Joseph was abused
Moses had a stuttering problem
Gideon was afraid
Sampson was a womanizer
Rahab was a prostitute
Jeremiah & Timothy were too young
David had an affair and was a murderer
Elijah was suicidal
Isaiah preached naked
Jonah ran from God
Naomi was a widow
Job went bankrupt
John the Baptist ate bugs
Peter denied Christ
The Disciples fell asleep while praying
Martha worried about everything
The Samaritan woman was divorced, several times
Zaccheus was too small
Paul was too religious
Timothy had an ulcer
Lazarus was dead!

No more excuses!

I'm Ready!

2011-03-07T00:52:00.001-05:00

Pulling myself out of this slump is going to be a lot harder than I realize, but it has to be done. I feel like I'm lost & there's no way out. I'm tired of being depressed, sad, tired & worried all of the time and wondering if we'll ever get out of here. I'm tired of being pissed at my husband for not having a job yet. I'm tired of feeling fat & disgusting in everything I wear. I'm tired of not being the mother my kids deserve all of the time. I want to be happy, social & stand proud. Its my time darnit! And its gonna take work & lots of baby steps, but its gonna happen!

So tonight I stepped outside of my comfort zone. I took a picture of Noah nursing and posted it to facebook & twitter. I've never shared any nursing pics before, but I was covered enough & I was proud to still nurse my 7 month old to sleep. I also posted diapers to sell and some breastfeeding stuff online to sell. I am a mild hoarder/pack rat, so starting to go through things to get rid of is very cleansing. Hopefully they'll be bought soon & gone from the house so I'll be even more accomplished & start doing more.

And this week I'm submitting an application for a YMCA membership assistance program (they help with some of the cost), so I can get better with exercising regularly. And they have free child care for up to 2 hours, so the kids will have a chance to play/socialize without me while mommy gets healthy.

I am ready! I am tired of being this person I no longer recognize. I am ready for my life to be transformed!! :o)

But Birth IS Beautiful

2011-03-02T02:30:00.002-05:00

I've come to the conclusion that not everyone sees birth as a beautiful thing. Some of my friends simply see it as an ends to a means. You have sex, you get pregnant, yada yada yada...you have a newborn in your arms.
Its really hard for me to relate to them because after Sophie's birth, I understood there was a better way to have a baby. I hated that birth experience & had a plan for a natural better birth with Maddy, which we know was foiled by my sudden, severe preeclampsia & resulted in my traumatizing emergency csection (that I still get panic attacks from). I was thankful we were both healthy & alive, but at the same time, I knew we should be trusting your body to work as God designed it too. I felt robbed. I was bitter & in mourning for the birth I never got to try.

So Noah's birth was incredibly empowering for me. My body started labor on its own, it remained strong throughout pregnancy & delivery & proved everyone wrong. It allowed me to regain control of my births & my body. I regained the image of myself as a strong woman & mother. I also showed the high risk doctor that I can think for myself when I didn't schedule a repeat csection at 39 weeks exactly, per his advice. Doctors aren't always right & frankly, most of them I don't trust enough to make decisions for me like that. Good thing I don't, or I'd have 2 csections by now.

But throughout that pregnancy, I fought hard every step of the way to have the best, most relevant, strong information at my fingertips to make an informed decision for our care. I spent countless hours on message boards, finding research studies, reading articles, talking to medical personal and sharing what I learned with others along the way. I turned my husband into a vbac advocate, so much so that he gets angry when he sees friends of his eagerly schedule an induction or repeat csection, when we know that its unnecessary. (Yes, there are some medically necessary times for them, but not in these instances--like wanting baby to have a "cute birthday" or "if I have my baby on X day at 38 weeks, I'll be able to start training again in time for the marathon" <---both exact examples of people we know). I also share all of these articles & knowledge on my facebook page. It makes some of my friends cheer in support & others eager to jump down my throat in protest. They are happy listening to a doctor as their only form of information & refuse to acknowledge that there may be something better out there. They get offended that I post these things, but it won't make me stop. If I piss them off & get unfriended, that's the price to pay for spreading knowledge & possibly helping them or someone they know.

These "friends" don't see how beautiful & powerful birth can be. They don't understand that having an empowering birth comes from being confident in your choices & that can affect your life in other areas without you knowing it. They don't see how amazing the human body is to have all of these tiny intricate details line up to have a proper birth. How God figured out the tiniest details to keep us alive & multiplying. It is truly awesome & I adore talking about, thinking about, learning about & seeing birth. Just incredible.

In the same way, these same people don't see breastfeeding as beautiful either. They don't understand that breastfeeding is much more than just making milk for your baby. There's the bonding, the hormones, the amazing things your body goes through to nourish & continue to take care of your baby once its on the outside. So incredible.

Its just hard to relate to those naysayers when I post an article about birthing & they attack me with "csections are great" & "I can't wait to induce" or I post about breastfeeding and I get "formula is just as good" & "breastfeeding is gross".

No its not. Birthing & feeding as God intended is the best in almost every circumstance (said as a woman who fed formula, breastmilk & donor milk AND had an induction, a csection & a VBAC--I think I'm pretty well versed). I want the best for my children, not 4th best or something that's "good enough". I don't want to subconsciously teach them that its ok to quit something just because it's not "instantly easy" or think that something artificially made like formula even comes close to the awesome power of breast milk. For example: my grandma breastfed 4/6 of her babies. The 2 that drank formula are my mom (who has so many health problems her entire life, not to mention the breast cancer she is still receiving treatments for & the poor thing is allergic to so many things/meds) & my uncle who has survived multiple heart attacks, life threatening illnesses, and lots of health issues that prevent him from even lifting his kids. Hmmm. The rest of my aunts & uncles are aging normally, with usual or no health worries. So yeah, you CANNOT tell me that formula is "just as good" as breastmilk.

Ugh. I wish everyone just thought like I do. Hehe. I try very hard to just ignore those ignorant comments, but they sometimes really get to me.

But no matter what, I do believe that informed birth is beautiful. Breastfeeding is beautiful. No, I will not change my mind about that, but I do hope to open yours. ;o)

Creeptastic Situation

2011-02-27T17:01:00.002-05:00

Last week I got caught in a scary situation. I was supposed to meet a local milky mama at Walmart on her way home to pickup her milk. I brought Sophie & Noah with me since I had a few things to do there too & let Maddy stay home with Brian.

I got there around 7:15 (which was a bit early for our meeting time) and pulled into an empty spot in the end of an isle to make it easy to find her. About 2 minutes later a van pulls up next to me & I was confused. I thought the mama drove a black car, but sometimes there are last minute changes. Then a man gets out. Um, this was not what was supposed to happen, so I stayed in the van. He asked if I was Brian's wife. This was definitely NOT my milky mama, but he knew my hubby, so I played nice & tried to figure out who he was. He said his name was Jay & asked about where we were living (I vaguely responded with answers like "on top of the mountain" & "not far from the library") & asked if I was alone. I said Brian was inside the store & should be coming out soon (even though he wasn't even there). I was getting freaked out.

Then my milky mama arrived, so I had to get out to talk to her & get the milk from her. I was glad someone I actually did "know" was there, but the guy didn't take the hint to leave & I started getting scared when the mama had to leave. I kept praying for a way to get out of this strange situation.
The creepy guy kept going over the (fake) info I shared about us as if he was mentally storing everything. Like Bill Murry did in the movie Groundhog, where he randomly asked questions, repeated the info & asked another personal question.

He asked what was taking Brian so long a few times too. How did he even know of Brian? Let alone be waiting for him at Walmart, when my hubby was at home!? And he just kept talking about being down on his luck & depressed & acting very strange. It creeped me out bad & I knew I needed to get me & the kids out of this situation. I felt foolish for putting us in this situation at nighttime & all alone. I told him I needed to go into Walmart to return a few things, hoping he'd leave us alone, when he said he'll just follow us inside to wait for Brian. Crap!

So we drove over to the entrance w/him following in his van. I told Sophie to not say a word to the stranger & hold my hand once we got out of the van. And she did so great listening to me. Not a word & she held on tight. I think she understood it was a serious situation.

We waited in line & I kept praying for an out. It instantly came to me. We all stood there to return my items & just before she had me sign the slip, I told him to just go back to the electronics awhile, since that's where Brian should be & we'll be right there. I signed the slip & saw him heading back, so we booked it out of the store & into the van, locked the doors & left. Sophie fussed a little on the way out since we didn't get to look at toys like I had promised, but I promised a special treat once we got home if she quietly went to the van. I took the long way home just in case since I was so freaked out still. (And yes, Sophie did get a special treat: a cookie, for her bravery).

When we got home, I was telling Brian about it & he had no idea who this guy was & drove the van right back to Walmart to see if the creepy guy was still around, which he wasn't. He went through his facebook friends, his phone, everything & everyone he could think of with the same description & nada.

I was shaking for about an hour after we got home & had to play cool to not freak out the kids. I had no time to process what we'd just been through. I was proud of myself for acting calm & focused in a difficult situation & thanked God for getting us out safely.

I don't know who this man was, what his agenda was, if he knew another Brian & this was just a huge coincidence, or if he had a mental disability. All I know was that it was one of the scariest situations I've ever been in, especially since my children were right there with me. I'd never forgive myself if anything happened to them.

We live in a small town, and I think we get too comfortable here sometimes thinking bad stuff won't happen here. But this situation was an eye opener to be more defensive & aware of my surroundings better. Oh, and I don't think I'm ever meeting up at night again with anyone again!!

Wordless Wednesday: Snow Cream

2011-02-23T11:21:00.000-05:00

Ingredients:
About 8 cups of fresh snow (not pictured), a 14oz can of sweetened condensed milk & a tsp of vanilla.

Mix it all together (we mixed in our snow collecting pot).

Enjoy your "Snow Cream"

What a fun way to enjoy mother nature! And the girls LOVED waiting for our pot to fill up with snow! :o)

Wordless Wednesday--2 years ago today...

2011-02-16T09:41:00.012-05:00

My preemie came home!

Can't believe how much she's changed in 2 years!

We are so blessed!

Schedules

2011-02-13T23:13:00.000-05:00

This is one are of parenting that I royally SUCK at. I am so inconsistent with schedules most days. I mean, we have our basic routine (get up, get breakfast, get dressed, etc), but the times are almost never the same. Most days, I wish they were!! It would make life so much easier!

Sometimes I think I should start waking up the kids at a certain hour instead of letting them naturally wake, so they will start the day at the same time. And then the "I'm a sleepy mommy who wants a little more sleep" kicks in, so I don't. Some days the girls don't get breakfast until nearly 10am. Other days it's 8am. Same for lunch. Today it was 1:30 until I remembered to make lunch!!! Dinner's pretty consistently between 5-6pm, since we've been eating together as a family, but if we eat with Brian's family, sometimes that schedule is even way off.

Then there's naps. Oy! Sophie hasn't napped in 2 years aside from the stray illness or car ride related nap. Maddy typically takes 1 nap a day in the afternoon from 1-3 hours. I've been trying my best to get her in her crib for quiet time by 2pm, but lately she's been resisting me hardcore. Today she didn't even nap at all, though she certainly needed it--what a grouch! Noah has been taking 2 or 3 naps a day, but the times are not consistent at all yet & neither is the length. Just that he naps in our bed, surrounded by pillows and stuff to keep him from rolling off the bed.

And finally, our WORST area: bedtime. I'd LOVE to have the girls in bed asleep by say 8:30 or 9pm & Noah soon after. How do I do it?!?! HELP! Maddy has been standing in her crib screaming for me & wants to stay up when I put her to bed at 8 or 8:30. Any earlier, and it's even MORE of a battle. If it's after 9, she's typically easier to put down since she's exhausted (but then we get super cranky Maddy for an extra hour. ugh!). Sophie goes to sleep by 9, but won't stay asleep. She fights it, makes up stories about "Maddy's keeping me awake" (when Maddy's been out cold), finds things to do to stay up or lately, she's been sleep walking/talking. She'll cry & when we go in to the girls room, she's sitting in her bed and makes no sense when you ask her a question. Typically you just tell her to lay down and go back to sleep & she'll go back down, but man is it annoying & frustrating if she wakes up Maddy during one of her crying fits. It's always such a battle with the girls--doesn't matter which parent puts the girls to bed either. And we don't have an elaborate bedtime routine for that reason either. Ugh!

Noah doesn't have a set bedtime at all. He's typically "down for the night" by midnight, but it depends on if he makes "bed" at 9:30-10pm into a nap or actual bed. He wakes up 2-3x a night (which I don't mind typically), and sleep until late morning sometime. I want to move his bedtime earlier, so he wakes for the day earlier & the kids are all generally on a similar schedule. I just don't know how to do that.

How do you make a baby go to sleep? Maddy was our only schedule kid (thanks NICU for that), since I typically just read baby's signs & cues for hunger or sleep. Turn off the lights & cuddle them asleep? I REFUSE to ever do "cry it out" methods since to me it just feels like a socially acceptable form of child abuse. (again, my opinion. if that's what you choose for your children, so be it.). We'll be cosleeping with Noah until we move into our new house, since there's no room for a crib in our bedroom, the bassinet is now too small for Noah (and cluttered as it's a great junk collector! lol!), and there's just no other place to put him. Besides, I am still loving cosleeping. I don't think Brian is, as he keeps asking me how long Noah's going to sleep with us, but maybe it will be an encouragement to find a job & move out. haha.

I guess I just wish I had things figured out & consistent rather than it seems like I just fly by the seat of my pants every single day. Writing it out just now helped me see our pattern a bit better, so that's good. But gaining control again would be excellent.

So there ya have it. My biggest parenting weakness. If you have any helpful hints or suggestions, I'd love to hear them.

Well Check-Ups x2

2011-02-12T18:30:00.002-05:00

We went to the doctor on Thursday for Maddy's 2 year check-up & Noah's 6 month check-up. I scheduled them together so we wouldn't have to take a bunch of trips & I figured since Brian would be along, we could do it no worries. Well, Brian woke up with a migraine & didn't come along, so it was just me with 3 kiddos and a busy, busy day. Oh, and did I mention I was running on about no sleep since all 3 of them were up well past midnight?! Thursday was a LONG day.

But the good news, the kiddos are growing & developing well. Yay!
Maddy was 23 1/4lbs (was 24lbs at WIC 2 weeks ago) & 33" tall. Right on track developmentally & the doctor said she had a good amount of words (my worry) & her ears were clear (my other worry).

Noah was 14 Lbs, 11.5oz (was 15lbs at WIC 2 weeks ago) & 26 3/4" long with a 17" head. He looked great developmentally, has 1 tooth that popped through & #2 that's almost through as well. He rolls everywhere & pushes up as if he's about to crawl. He also sits unassisted for longer stretches each day & knows my voice without seeing me and searches for me upon hearing it. So he's right on track!
Then the doctor started telling me I can give Noah more foods & juice/water (since I mentioned that we started playing with solids, but nothing consistent yet), I can stop feeding him at night "since he doesn't need it anymore" (*psshhh*!!!), he can cry a little to settle himself (um, no way!) & he can have a flu shot with his other vaccinations (we'll pass!).

I mostly smiled & nodded, silently knowing I wouldn't follow his advice at all & finally remembering why I don't schedule appointments ever with Dr. Killough. He's the furthest thing from attachment parenting ever in the practice & we typically see one of the awesome female doctors or nurse practitioners who are more AP friendly (and they're the ones who usually comment on the cute cloth diapers I pick out just to hear them comment on them. Hehe!).

Then he asked again, "You ARE giving him the flu shot, right? Just sign here." I said no & when he asked if Maddy was getting it, I declined again & he gave me looks of utter disapproval. He then asked me, "Well, did you at least get a flu shot for yourself to pass along to Noah?" & I said no & he said, "That's just too bad." I said that we were taking precautions against cold/flu by hand washing, avoiding crowds, healthy eating, extra vitamins & so far we've had just 2 colds, so I think its working. And how I don't like that H1N1 is automatically added to the seasonal flu shot, so there's no choice to even separate it since it hasn't been widely independently studied yet either. He gave me a "well, I'm a doctor so of course only I know best" look while his med student commended us on a good job.

I was proud of myself for sticking to my guns and doing what I believe is best for my family. And that includes taking 3 kids along to a double well check-up by myself. The nurses commended me & commented at how well behaved my girls were (Noah chilled in the wrap the whole time). I didn't need some entitled doctor to have a power trip on me. While I do get my kids vaccinated against some/most things, I refuse to just listen to a doctors advice blindly & uninformed. I weigh the information out there plus the doctors opinion plus my family/friends opinions together & make the decision that's best for my family.

But we made it in and out just fine & the kids were great the rest of the day for me too, despite being in the van for so long. They let me get a few needed things from our storage shed & to pickup about 40oz of donor milk (*squee!!*) before coming back home. I just hope they start making that good behavior a more frequent thing! Lol!

Wordless Wednesday--First Foods

2011-02-09T13:12:00.000-05:00

What is this?!

Not sure about avocados...

Wait, I think I might like it!

Is that all? I want more!

I LOVE food!

Happy 6 months Noah!

Miscellany Monday

2011-02-07T12:02:00.002-05:00

1. Birthday #3 on Saturday was fun (except for sitting in traffic for 1.5 hours thanks to an accident). My Elmo cupcakes for Maddy & Frog cake for my Aunt Dolores were a hit! YAY! My girls were so friendly and had so much fun playing together & barely fought. It was a nice break. lol!

2. Noah is going to be crawling very soon. He does baby push ups and will hold himself on his his hands and feet for at least a minute. Plus he scoots backward and knows how to slide on his belly to get whatever he wants. It's bittersweet. I want him to be a baby for a long time, but proud of his progress. He's also starting the teething process. It will be a new experience for our nursing journey, but I'm looking forward to it!

3. I really really really want to start sewing/crocheting/knitting. Like bad! I have so much wool (yarn, sweaters, fabric, etc) waiting to be made into longies (pants), shorties (shorts), & soakers (covers). I think I'm mostly afraid of cutting fabric and doing it wrong so I've then wasted my wool. Must get over myself & just do it already!

4. Can I just say I am still SO psyched that the Steelers lost yesterday? I wasn't rooting for the Packers per say, but mainly rooting AGAINST the Steelers. Their loss was a sweet victory for this household last night. Almost as good as a Ravens win! ;o)

5. I am praying we get a decent tax return this year. Our bills are coming due (we paid a CHUNK of bills last year with our return) & I want to get ahead again. It was such a good feeling not having that car insurance or storage unit fee over our heads while we continue with the job hunt. If it's decent (we do have an extra tax deduction this year afterall), I am also spurging on a new diaper bag from Brooke Van Gory Designs. I have a little saved toward one, but my diaper bag is showing wear after using it for the past 2 years & I'm ready for something a bit bigger too.

6. I am sad that on Thursday Nifty Nappy is closing shop due to the CPSIA ruling regarding lead testing on all items marketed toward children under 12. I have been selling off diapers I don't use much/at all to get some NNs before Vilate stops selling them. I have been fortunate enough to win a lot of my NN stash, so it'll feel good to purchase a few more to add to it.

7. Maddy went to bed at 6:45pm last night (typically goes to bed between 8-8:30). Lately, she's been freaking out & crying when I lay her down in her crib. I thought she was scared of something, but can't figure out what. We have night lights on and a little lamp too, but she's been terrified to lay down alone, so I end up rocking her for a long while to go to sleep, which has never been the case with her. Maddy's always been a very independent sleeper (prolly from her NICU days), so I was grateful for the good sleep from her last night. Keep it up kiddo!

8. I'm very frustrated with Clean B detergent. I placed an order on Black Friday with hard earned pay pal money. Melissa said it could take up to 4 weeks to get it since she was behind on orders & was temporarily closing shop in December to get caught up. I emailed her in the beginning of January saying I was hoping my soap would come soon & getting frustrated it was well over 6 weeks at that point with no soap (though she gladly took my money right away). She said it was taking her longer to fulfill orders & I'd get it soon (btw-she reopened her shop in January to take on more orders too). Well, here it is February 7th & still no soap. I'm going to email her one more time and give her one more week to get my stuff sent out & there had better be extras in there to somewhat make up for her poor service. If I don't receive my soap, I will be filling out a pay pal claim against her. And while I loved her soap for our cloth diapers, I am not giving her one more dime because of her horrible customer service. I prefer to support work at home moms whenever possible, so I'm looking for a new diaper friendly soap. Any recommendations?

9. And ending on a good note, I have plans in the works to meet up with a milky mama this week. And I've been in contact with another, closer mama too! I'm trying to not get TOO excited, since this is where it typically failed the last few matches, but I just have a good feeling this time! Here's hoping!

Wordless Wednesday--Her Second 2nd Birthday

2011-02-02T19:08:00.000-05:00

She loved being sung to!

My attempt at Yo Gabba Gabba cupcakes.

better shot of the cupcakes.

She liked squeezing the icing in her hands.

Playing "peek-a-boo" with her icing hands!

Opening presents after a quick bath.

She got a TRASH TRUCK!!!!

Playing with her new toys.

Only 1 more 2nd birthday party left--this Saturday we're celebrating Maddy's & my Aunt Dolores's birthdays together. Maddy's a lucky girl! 3x the cake, 3x the presents & 3x the celebration!! :o)

I cannot believe it!

2011-01-31T17:14:00.001-05:00

I cannot believe my little preemie is now 2 years old!!
I cannot believe how hard she works at trying out new words all of the time.
I cannot believe how good she is at drawing. It's her favorite thing to do (on the walls, her legs, the table...you name it! ugh!).
I cannot believe that she is already getting good at using the potty!
I cannot believe that in a matter of months, I'll be down to just 1 in diapers!
I cannot believe my little Noah man is 6 months old!
I cannot believe we made it to 6 months on our breastfeeding journey!!!
I cannot believe how he loved his first taste of food this weekend (avocado).
I cannot believe that he's already over 15lbs & loves to jump whenever we let him!!
I cannot believe that my baby boy is pushing up with his arms & slowly scooting/rolling across the floor to get to toys!
I cannot believe that Sophie is the one person who can calm Noah down in 2 seconds by singing to him.
I cannot believe how friendly & outgoing Sophie is to kids and adults!! Wish I had her personality! ;o)
I cannot believe that we're having 1 more birthday celebration on Saturday for Maddy (total of 3!).
I cannot believe they're calling for MORE snow after the mounds we still have all over the place.
I cannot believe how little time I have lately--it's almost as if I've been spending my "free" time out in the snow playing with the girls! ;o)
I cannot believe I found Homestarrunner.com again! Takes me back to those random college nights watching funny movies like this.
I cannot believe that I have run out of things to write about on this quick update! ;o)

Wordless Wednesday--Sometimes...

2011-01-26T10:10:00.015-05:00

They stop fighting long enough to show...

that they really do love one another. <3

Feeling a Little Discouraged...

2011-01-24T16:57:00.000-05:00

So I've been feeling a bit discouraged lately. I'm doing everything I can to still make milk for Noah, and have to supplement him probably around 14oz a day with formula. I hate doing that. I hate how formula makes him have tummy trouble & fussy compared to how happy he is on breastmilk. When I pump and pump and pump all week to make enough for a day with almost no formula, Noah is a completely different baby. I just wish I had enough milk for him to have only breastmilk. He'll be 6 months old on Friday, so we'll be starting solids soon, and I'm hoping that will replace some of the formula he drinks, but I know it won't be entirely.

I am discouraged that I've only been able to get 1 milk donor match that has been successful. I LOVE what Eats on Feets is doing and stands for, but I'm getting kinda upset that we haven't found more than a day or twos worth of milk for my baby boy. There are just no milky mamas around here I guess, so I gotta keep sucking it up that Noah's going to keep getting formula. I despise seeing those Good Start cans around from WIC. I wish they didn't have the contract with Nestle--which makes giving Noah formula even worse than if they still had the contract with Similac or someone else. I can't afford to ship milk like some people on there can, so free formula is our only alternative. Ugh!

I guess I'm just trying not to give up on finding a match, but at the same time, trying to come to terms that it's not likely we'll find one in the next few months if we haven't in the past 3!

Wordless Wednesday--Proud Moment

2011-01-19T10:02:00.001-05:00

My girls get it.

They know where real milk comes from...

So they want to be like their mama...

And pump their boobies too!

Breastfeeding Blog Hop!

2011-01-16T19:18:00.000-05:00

Introducing a weekly blog hop to connect with other breastfeeding-friendly bloggers!

Host: @LifeWithLevi

Co-Hosts: @PlayersNamed, @iamambermccann

This Week’s Guest Host:

@briemarisa1977

Here are the guidelines for this blog hop:

Visit the 4 blog hosts for the week (spots #1-4) Spot #4 will always feature a blogger randomly selected from the previous week’s blog hop. Be sure to leave a comment that you found them through the Breastfeeding Blog Hop so they can follow you back!
Please only link up your blog if you are breastfeeding-friendly. If you have posted about breastfeeding (and/or pumping) in the past or plan to post about breastfeeding, that’s you!
Repost the linky (link for the code is in the lower right-hand corner of the linky below) on your blog to help promote the blog hop. Be sure to add some info about YOU so others have a place to say “Hi” & let you know they’re following.
Grab the button below if you’d like and display it in your linky post or your sidebar.
This blog hop will be active from Thursday, 01/13 – Sunday, 01/16.
Be sure to include these guidelines when you add the Blog Hop Linky Code to your blog.

About ME (Mama Campbell) – I am a 27 year old mama of 3 kids age 4 & under. I've been nursing our newest addition for the past almost 6 months, which is longer than I was able to nurse my 2 girls combined due to Insufficient Glandular Tissue (IGT) not allowing me to make enough milk for my babies! I'm glad to be still nursing & don't have plans to stop anytime soon! Check out my tags of "breastfeeding" to read more of our experiences!

Bewb obsession!!

2011-01-15T11:47:00.003-05:00

Breastfeeding has made me obsessed with my boobs. There. I said it!

I am always looking for new things to try to make them work better, to make the milk richer, to increase the supply, you name it. I pump whenever I can & get so excited about the amounts of milk I get. I tweet something breastfeeding related frequently & try to not miss #bfcafe every Thursday night at 10pm EST on twitter. I take pictures of the milk I pump & share it on my twitter way too often probably.

One pumping session in the van.

Another pumping session in the van (see the difference in my right (small amt) and left (larger amt)?

The most I've ever pumped, just after starting goat's rue!

I plan my days around when I will be nursing next, what to eat or avoid to help my supply, how comfortable I will be nursing in whatever I'm wearing & how long until I can take my next supplement. I bring my pump along during every car ride & power pump while driving thanks to my Pump Ease hands free pumping bra. It feels weird to NOT pump and drive now.

I nurse in public whenever I can without a cover to show the world how proud I am to nurse my baby boy & to help destigmatize it. I have a few onesies for Noah that say things like "Boob Man" & "Jesus was breastfed" that I love wearing on him. I try to nurse at family functions since I know I'm the only one there who has breastfed & I get secret thrills from watching them squirm at the very idea of breastfeeding. I even go out of my way to find extra pumping sessions during the week leading up to a family event, so they can watch me feed my son a bottle of breastmilk to supplement instead of making formula. I've taught my uncles, aunts, cousins and grandmother about how breastfeeding doesn't need to be restrictive & it's ok for me to have those sips of beer I just drank. (which btw-I think I thoroughly impressed my uncle by that!) Afterall, your body will filter alcohol out of your milk, so there's no need to "pump and dump" from having part of a beer (just like you don't need a blood transfusion because you had part of a beer).

I covet the milk I have chilling in my fridge. I don't want to waste it, so I ration it like it was gold. I rinse the pump parts in filtered water after each pumping session and save that milky water to use for making Noah's formula supplements. I even have a Milkies Milk Saver to catch whatever milk lets down on the opposite breast while nursing. Every drop counts is my motto.

saved during morning nursing session

adding all of it I get each nursing session to make a bottle...

Just what I saved with my milk saver in 1 day is worth one whole supplement!

I am obsessed with reading books, articles, and movies on breastfeeding. I am always looking at new nursing shirts, bras, and clever contraptions that make breastfeeding easier. I love to talk about breastfeeding, why it is far superior to formula (saying this as a mom who has to use breastmilk & formula tends to give me more cred), how easy it eventually becomes & how different it is with each baby. I get excited when I hear of someone famous or someone I know deciding to breastfeed & sad when they don't even give it a shot. I've joined countless breastfeeding (and natural parenting) Facebook pages that have faced the dreaded deletion because they violated a term of service by showing a picture of a mother breastfeeding a baby or child. I share links, books, and my own experiences whenever I get the chance. I've even just made a very small breastfeeding care package to give to my cousin at her babyshower this weekend (a few reusable breast pads, some mom's milk tea, & nipple cream).

And, I share all of this with my poor, sweet, supportive husband. I have turned him into quite the lactivist & I know that's why I am still nursing Noah at almost 6 months old! His support & desire for our son to get the best of the best rocks! He was glad to accept donor milk from my friend Lauretta for Maddy to thrive on when she was a preemie. He's even supportive of my decision to find more donor milk again from Eats on Feets, so we can reduce the amount of formula Noah receives. Awesome man that hubster is!

1st donation of many from Lauretta (yellow milk is colostrum).

I teach my girls that babies should be eating breastmilk first and bottles later only if they need them. I encourage them to play with my empty pumps if they want and to nurse their babies/barbies/bears/etc when they play. They think it's a no-brainer that milk for babies comes from mommies boobies and I aim to keep it that way!

I am amazed & feel blessed to still have milk-making super powers after almost 6 months & thank God every time I accidently leak because that means I am still a milky mama!

So apparently, I am obsessed with boobs (in a good way) & I wouldn't change a thing!!!!!

Wordless Wednesday--Grandfatherly Love

2011-01-12T09:59:00.005-05:00

Maddy loves her J.C. (what they call my father in law) & is always paling around with him. Just happened to snap this picture of her snoozing after watching Elmo movies on the internet with J.C. Toooooo cute!

Will It Ever Get Easier?

2011-01-08T22:41:00.000-05:00

Tonight we were watching a TV show & there was a baby born at 30 weeks. I heard a NICU monitor go off & it gave me a small panic attack. I hate that sound. HATE IT! My heart was racing, my breathing sped up, and I flashed back to being in the NICU with Maddy. Tears started welling up & it was all from a 10 second scene from TV! I wonder if it will ever get any easier. Its been nearly 2 years now & I still feel such anxiety & stress from it or when I look at NICU pics of her or even just think about her birth.

We visited the NICU & nurses with our local March of Dimes chapter back in November for Preemie Awareness Day. It was tough then. My eyes filled with tears the moment we walked into the washroom (where you scrub & disinfect your hands/arms before you visit your baby) & the smell of that soap always gets me. I had such anxiety being there. I wanted to run, but know how important it is to conquer that step. Sophie loved being near our favorite NICU nurse & Maddy even sat on her lap for a group picture. (sorry its fuzzy--we only had my phone camera as my camera died).

I guess I never really thought about how traumatic is all was for me & just kept on going without processing it all. I just hope this gets easier someday. I'd like to enjoy my TV shows again minus panic attacks.

Halfway To A Wig

2011-01-07T12:04:00.001-05:00

I've had long hair most of my life. I've been blessed with hair that will look nice curly or straight & grows super fast. It grows even faster (or seems to) while I'm preggo. So after Noah was born, I decided it's time to get my usual haircut before he starts grabbing it by the handful, 'cause Lord knows enough of it is falling out from the hormone switchover! So I went down to Walmart and got a quick cut & donated it to Locks of Love (again---I've donated my hair to them 4x now!). They are a great non-profit organization who provide the high quality hair pieces to children suffering from long term or permanent hair loss. The hair prostheses provided are custom-made from donated ponytails (from 6-10 are typically needed....so I'm at about halfway to donating a wig now!).

before

after

liking my new do!

Think about donating your hair the next time you get a haircut. While they require 10"+ of straightened out hair for their wig making, they can accept any decent length (provided it's clean, dry and in a ponytail or braid) to help offset their costs. I feel good knowing that some child who would otherwise be insecure without their own hair on their head, can have a wig partially made from my donation. These are high quality hair pieces as well, so they can even swim with their wigs on and no one has to be any the wiser. My hair will grow back in about 2 years, whereas theirs likely will not, so I hope I can keep donating for years to come!

Wordless Wednesday--They do share...

2011-01-05T09:59:00.000-05:00

...clothes that is...and as long as they don't know they're sharing them!!!

Sophia at 13 months

Maddy at 23 months

Hand-me-downs from sister that are finally fitting!! YAY!!!

Christmas 2010 Update!!!! (LONG, but there's pictures!)

2011-01-03T22:41:00.000-05:00

Yikes! It's been ages since I updated! Sorry everyone! The holidays got crazy busy (as usual) and something had to give! Sorry blog!

We had a cookie-baking day 3 weeks ago with my dad's sisters, mom, step-mom & cousins. I love cookie baking day! It takes me back to childhood memories of spending way too much time decorating the cookies to have them look perfect. haha. My cousin Laura was there & is expecting her 1st baby (a girl! yay!) this March. I gave her a bunch of breastfeeding books, since she was asking if I had any to recommend. I also plan on sharing my experiences with her to encourage her! I am just so proud of her for wanting to nurse her baby!!!

The girls had a great time decorating cookies (Maddy was the unofficial sprinkle taste tester!) and were just so good & Noah got passed around all morning without a care. What a great baby!

Messy Maddy

My Aunt Donna rolling out sand tarts

Can you tell Sophie decorated these?

My Gram & Noah

So on Christmas Eve, we were at my dad's family's house again to celebrate. Tons of cousins, aunts, uncles, etc to talk to and show off the kiddos to. ;o) They had fun playing with my cousin's 2 y/o son and we left pretty late, so they fell asleep of course on the drive home. They all woke up once we got to my dad's house (where we spent the night) upon opening the doors and getting a blast of cold air. Oh no! So they were up late for Christmas Eve and were all finally asleep by midnight.

The girls table full of presents for them, Noah & Opa & Oma!

I didn't realize how much FUN Christmas is until having kids excited for it. Just putting the gifts out for them and sneaking them out of their hiding places was SO much fun for me...just imagining how excited they would be when they come out and see all of their presents. And Sophie did not disappoint with that! lol! Maddy didn't care..she loved pointing out the elmos in her wrapping paper (thank you Dollar Tree!!), but Sophie freaked! It was so cute!!!

They unwrapped and I have to say we did manage to give them a good Christmas, despite not having money. I was very creative and thinking about Christmas since before Sophie's bday. Lots of things I won or won GCs to buy. They were quite pleased.

We had Christmas dinner with my Dad & Judy and brothers. It was very nice and the girls ate good (which for them is odd when there's so much going on to distract them from eating) & Sophie was BEGGING to open presents from her uncles, which cracked everyone up. We visited for a while longer before heading back to Brian's parents for their Christmas schindig.

My SIL & MIL were ticking me off with how they kept calling Brian and asking if he was still coming, and when we'd be there etc etc etc. ALL MORNING LONG! We originally said "we'll leave my dad's around 3, and be at the house by 5", so shouldn't that be enough of a guideline? Apparently not, since he got several calls about when we're going to get there & frankly stressed us both out too much we didn't want to even go. But we got there at 4:45 (look, we're early!), but decided that next year this is not happening. 1 Christmas during the day...not everyones!

Sophie got a ton of fun presents (lots of toys...despite MIL always complain she has too many toys & that's why the play room is always a mess...I don't get her sometimes) and loved opening them for me & her siblings who could care less. hehe. We had dessert with them & then Brian's sister & family left. I got a lot of things put away before and after the kids went to bed, so MIL wouldn't complain about the mess when she got up in the morning.

I got up super early to make baked corn for my grandma's Christmas party that afternoon (which we were worried about not making it too because of the threatening blizzard that ended up moving east thankfully!), and didn't have enough eggs, so I went to Walmart at 6:30am to get some. It was SOOOOO weird going there minus kids and I got in and out in record time, despite there only being 2 lines open and tons of people waiting in each. I made the corn, got dressed & ready and then the kids started waking up. We made it to the party in plenty of time and the girls played hard w/my cousins and some of my cousins kids (my cousins range in age from 42 to 4 months old on this side of the family, so there are tons of kids around!).

We had a good time & I got to talk to a few of my aunts & uncles and my mom mom, which is always so nice. I also learned that I am not alone w/my extreme disliking of my step-father. Apparently that's the general consensus of the family, but everyone is nice to mom about her awful choice in a 2nd husband. I felt like a weight has been lifted just hearing them vent about the exact same feelings I have had for the past decade! Mom Mom was still SO mad at Karl for making my mom cry this summer. She vented to me for like 20 minutes and I kept telling her about normal I feel now that I know I'm not alone w/my feelings. It made me love her even more! <3

We left in the afternoon as the snow started really laying & as we drove back here, there was less and less snow. By the time we got home, there was not even a flurry! Talk about AWESOME!!! hehe. :op

So we had a pretty decent Christmas. Long, lots of driving, and lots of trying to fit everything into a short amount of time, but it went well. And now that it's January, we can expect a break right? Or not...Christmas part 5? is in 3 weeks but also Maddy's 2nd birthday parties are coming up too. I'm thinking February might be our time to just chill. hehe.

How was your holiday?? :o)

Want a Christmas Card??

2010-12-19T16:27:00.001-05:00

So I spent a few nights this week addressing & sealing Christmas cards I received from shutterfly and I have a bunch left over still! So here's my question to you all: Who wants a Christmas card from us? If you do, please email me your address & I'll send it out ASAP.

In the meantime, enjoy...

Noah tripod independent sitting at 4.5 months.

Please Help--Fluff Baby Home Raffle Fundraiser

2010-12-15T16:10:00.001-05:00

Today is the last day to enter this great fundraiser raffle to help a family Internationally adopt a sweet baby boy! A simple $5 donation gets you the chance to win over $700 worth of AMAZING prizes!

One of the blogs I follow is trying to help her brother & sister-in-law with the adoption fees & has had some awesome sponsors contribute great prizes (fluffy and not) to help raise money. They're currently at $882.73, so your small $5 (or more) donation would be greatly appreciated! And as Crystal says, "It's the cost of a Subway $5 footlong. So if you don't win, you're not out much!" But know that you will greatly impact a family and a child's life with your donation. So pay it forward and help this family out if you can.

Here's how to enter and contribute:

http://biehladventures.blogspot.com/2010/11/cloth-diaper-dream-package-raffle-enter.html

Farm Rich Snacks WINNERS!!

2010-12-14T18:47:00.000-05:00

Congrats Keli, Nan & April!!

They have all been emailed and will have 48 hours to respond and claim their prize before I redraw. Thanks to all who entered!!

Go Ravens!!!

2010-12-13T11:09:00.002-05:00

I was never one who was really into sports. I mean, I played softball and soccer, but never had a real desire to watch games on tv or go to local sporting events. And then I met Brian. He's a huge & I mean HUGE football fan! As a Maryland native, he of course he follows the Baltimore Ravens, so when we started dating, he turned me into a football fan with the constant game watching & explaining the rules. So naturally, as we expanded our family, we had to raise them the right way and teach them from day 1 to love the Ravens!!

And every year, we have to get our family pictures taken in full out Ravens attire. So without futher adieu, here's our picture from this year:

GO RAVENS!!!

Campbell Family Christmas Card 2010

2010-12-08T16:40:00.006-05:00

Here's the Shutterfly card we finally decided on! If you would like exchange cards in the mail, please send me an email: andrea.dippner at gmail.com

Glad Plaid Green Christmas 5x7 folded card

Shop Shutterfly.com for elegant Christmas photo cards.

View the entire collection of cards.

Merry Christmas everyone & thank you Shutterfly for the opportunity!

Wordless Wednesday: Start 'Em Young!

2010-12-08T11:51:00.000-05:00

Yes, my son learned how to scoot & roll so he could watch daddy's friend play Call of Duty: Black Ops. Daddy's so proud!

For the Love of Cosleeping

2010-12-05T13:41:00.000-05:00

Noah has slept in my arms next to me every night since his birth (including in the hospital despite it being "against hospital policy" & having nurses reprimand me for it--those insensitive jerks!). From the moment I gave birth to him, I did not want to let go and honestly, I felt guilty putting him in that plastic fishbowl "bassinet" they want you to put your brand new baby in. I probably have some mommy-guilt left over from seeing Maddy in the incubator alone for those 2 1/2 weeks and am making up for it with Noah. I never thought I would be cosleeping with my 3rd baby, since we didn't sleep with the girls in our bed very often, but there he is, snuggling in the middle of our bed every night!

my cosleeper! (don't mind the mismatched sheets!)

I think part of the reason why I love it is how easy it makes night time feeds/changes. HE'S RIGHT THERE! It's so much more convenient than having to wake yourself up enough to get up to go into the nursery or even to the bassinet across the room. He eats and can fall asleep in my arms and I don't worry about waking him up when I put him back down...because he's right next to me! I don't even have to leave my soft, warm bed! ;o) And when he wakes up early & I'm not ready to get up yet, I just lay on my side and get him latched and he nurses himself back to sleep. He's happy with his mommy pacifier, I'm happy with getting more sleep and he helps boost my milk supply at the same time! Mega bonus!

Another good thing about cosleeping is we get to bond as mommy, daddy & Noah so much more easily. He doesn't get any one-on-one time with his parents otherwise and I think he really loves it. We'll just lay in bed and let him "talk" with us before we go to sleep sometimes. He's already such a ham with smiling, cooing and laughing at us, I can only imagine what is in store for us in the next few months! And sometimes, Brian and I just lay and stare at him, so proud of the beautiful baby boy we created.

I love waking up to see this face!!

I don't know about you, but I always sleep so much better with my kids are in the same room or bed with me. I like knowing they're right there if they need me and I love to snuggle up and steal kisses from their cute sleeping faces. Cosleeping with Noah lets me snuggle and cuddle all night, every night! A dream come true! He sleeps so well and I do too getting to breathe in sweet baby scent all night long. When I get up for the day, the first face I typically see is my sweet tiny baby boy smiling back at me. It makes my heart full in an instant and you can't help but smile to start your day after that!

I never, ever thought I would be cosleeping with my third baby, but look where we are! Mommy, daddy & Noah sleeping in the same bed, and we couldn't be happier!

Farm Rich Snacks Review & Giveaway

2010-12-01T21:40:00.005-05:00

Farm Rich Appetizers are the perfect treat for a fun dinner, party snacks or a holiday event! We absolutely love them around here, especially during our annual Deep Fried Thanksgiving.

What is Deep Fried Thanksgiving you ask? Well, it all started about 5 or 6 years ago when my brother and his roommate had the genius idea of having friends and family over for the traditional Thanksgiving dinner, but rather everything must be in a fry-able form. They deep fried a turkey, stuffing & sausage balls, wings, mozzarella sticks, onion rings, and potato fries. It was delicious (and required many, many Tums for dessert!), so it's been a tradition ever since. Brian & I have held 2 of the Thanksgivings at our house and we keep rotating where it will be. This year was at our friend's house & we couldn't wait to bring along some Farm Rich cheese sticks to share.

They fried up perfectly & tasted delicious! My hubby can't wait to get more!

And that's not all Farm Rich has to offer. They also have delicious mushrooms , tasty meatballs & even french toast sticks for one kickin' breakfast!

If you'd like to get your own coupon for .75 off a bag then click here!

Or even better...

How would you like to WIN your own bag of Farm Rich Appetizers?

Win it:

Three (3) lucky followers will each win 1 coupon for a FREE Farm Rich snack!!!

Mandatory Entry:

You MUST follow me on Google Friend Connect (right hand side of my blog) AND leave a comment telling me what Farm Rich snack is your favorite! You must leave your email address in this comment for it to count!

(this is mandatory. no other entries will count if this is not done.)

Additional Entries:

(leave separate comments for each if you want them to count)

~~Follow Farm Rich on twitter (@FarmRichSnacks) for 1 extra entry

~~Follow me (@MamaCampbell) on Twitter for 1 extra entry

~~Tweet the following up to 2x a day for up to 2 extra daily entries (please leave me the url so I can verify your tweet)

#Win a tasty @FarmRichSnacks coupon (3 winners!) from @MamaCampbell http://tinyurl.com/2b4bzy4 #giveaway ends 12/14

~~Like Farm Rich on facebook for 1 extra entry

~~Grab my button & tell me where it's posted for 3 extra entries

~~Blog about this giveaway! Make sure you link back to this post. Must be a new blog post written by you (leave me the link or they will not count) for 5 extra entries

~~Sign up for Swagbucks under me here (or grab the link at the bottom of my blog) for 15 extra entries
~~Sign up for City Profile and under Referrer put my brother's brewery, "worstbrewing", then let me know your username for 20 extra entries. One username per email. If you get friends to sign up AND refer "worstbrewing", you get an additional 10 entries for each person you get to sign up, just leave their username as well.

Giveaway open to US only. Winners will be picked via Random.org & will have 48 hours to respond to my email before alternative winners are picked. Good luck!

This giveaway will close on December 14, 2010 at 10pm EST.

The products featured in this review were provided to us free of charge for the purpose of the review, no other compensation was received. All opinions expressed are my own.

CSN Store Product Review Coming Soon!

2010-11-30T23:22:00.000-05:00

The people at CSN Stores have offered me the chance to review something from their site & I definitely can't pass that up! But what to get? They have over 200+ online stores to choose something from and I could get almost anything with a $35 credit!

Do I put it towards tv tables we could certainly use to put the TV on and gain some much needed space back? Or maybe this Elmo travel tray for a certain little Elmo fan I know who's asleep upstairs?

Or maybe a sippy straw cleaner or that Paula Deen Griddle I've been eying for a while now.

How about a BabyKicks 3G pocket cloth diaper or these adorable dachshund salt & pepper shakers?

Or even a new duvet set that we greatly need. See, CSN stores has such a wide variety of things available, it's going to be tough to decide what to review!! Any suggestions?

What would YOU get with $35 towards your purchase at one of CSN 200+ stores?

She Talks!

2010-11-30T16:51:00.000-05:00

I've written a few times about how I was worried about Maddy not talking much and mostly just pointing and grunting to get what she wanted/needed. But the past week we have had a language EXPLOSION! Holy cow! I can't even count how many words she has lately since she just keeps adding more and more! It's like she was listening to us talk for the past 22 months and this week she decided to give it a shot at pronouncing everything. She learned bear & fish on Saturday and can say Ariel (Air-yule) whenever she sees one of the million Little Mermaid dolls/posters/bed sheets/tshirts/pjs/cups/etc that Sophie has. I am so impressed & so pleased she's finally talking. I just love hearing that little girl voice!!!!! I know I will soon probably regret those words, but it really makes me happy to know my girl is on track & doesn't have something preventing her from talking. Brian & I have become experts at "Maddy-ese" translation, but at least there are words there! YAY MADELYN!! :o)

I'm Very Thankful...

2010-11-25T10:08:00.001-05:00

I have so many things to be thankful for this year.

I am thankful for new opportunities with my blog and all of you new followers.
I am thankful for a warm bed to sleep in, cars to drive, food to eat and our health.
I am thankful for my mom dominating her battle with breast cancer & being so amazingly strong to endure all of the agonizing treatments.
I am thankful for my surprise pregnancy having a very happy ending with a beautiful baby boy and a very healing birth experience.
I am thankful to STILL be nursing my almost 4 month old! I never dreamed I'd make it this far & am so proud of our breastfeeding accomplishments!
I am thankful to have a baby boy who loves to snuggle and is such a patient, sweet and happy baby.
I am thankful that my preemie is now a rambunctious toddler who is learning so much every day.
I am thankful for a 4 year old who is my biggest helper every day and loves me even when I get annoyed with her toys all over the playroom.
I am thankful for a husband who stood by my side for the past 5 1/2 years and continues to support me through the good and bad times we share.
I am thankful for great relationships with my parents & thankful to have the best step-mother ever (seriously, Judy is the BEST!).
I am thankful to have great relationships with both of my brothers and thankful that they also have great relationships with their nieces & nephew.
I am thankful for my mother-in-law and father-in-law for enduring living with us for much longer than any of us planned.
I am thankful to have won so many great and needed things through twitter and giveaways that we otherwise could never afford to get.
And most of all, I am thankful for all that God has provided for us--even when we can't possibly understand why He lets us stay in these situations.

I just have so many things to be thankful for this Thanksgiving & feel so blessed all around!!

So, Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!! What are YOU thankful for?

Wordless Wednesday: Chocolate Pretzel Bribery

2010-11-24T16:45:00.005-05:00

Good thing she's cute!

10 Holiday Survival Tips!

2010-11-22T14:12:00.002-05:00

The holiday season is always crazy with things to do and people to see. Here are my top 10 survival tips:

1-Plan ahead! I start Christmas shopping Dec 26th for the next year & pick things up throughout the year to give as gifts and serve as decorations. You can score some killer deals this way! When you go to the stores to shop, make a list to follow and try to go during less crowded times to get more accomplished.

2-Create a budget & stick to it! We don't use credit cards for Christmas, but rather save $x.xx amount to use for Christmas gifts/decorations/extras. I set a limit for each person we buy for as well, so we don't go overboard with what we purchase.

3-Shop online! With super saver shipping from Amazon, to cyber Monday deals, it's a great way to get most of your shopping done from the comfort of your own home. I know last year I got about half of my shopping done online with great deals to boot! I've already got some of my shopping for this year done online!!

4-Get everyone involved! My girls want to wrap presents, but frankly, they're not good at it. So I get them involved by having them give me pieces of tape or attaching the bow to the present. My hubby is darned good at putting up the lights & being the official cookie taste tester!

5-Buy your holiday cards online! Check out Tiny Prints Christmas cards for a fun & hassle free way to have personalized cards delivered right to your door. No more fretting over trying to find enough of the perfect cards to send out to your friends and loved ones! It's all right there & so easy to do!

6-Multi-task! Watch a Christmas movie or listen to Christmas music when decorating the house, wrapping gifts, or baking. It makes the task more enjoyable and I know I even look forward to doing these sometimes mundane tasks go by more easily.

7-Make a special tradition!! We started making gingerbread houses as a family when Sophie was a baby and make it a point to do them every year. My nephew looks forward to it so much every year of coming over and eating lots of candy...err...decorating a house! ;o)

8-Stop to enjoy some Christmas lights! There are so many amazing displays set up during this season. We love driving around and looking at homes in the evenings throughout the season. It really gets you into the spirit and the joy of the holidays & makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside like when you were a kid.

9-Focus on what really matters, your loved ones & the reason we celebrate. This time of year is a great time to show people how much you love them, not just through gifts, but through your words and actions. Spend time with one another and spread that love to others. I know my girls are starting to understand the reason we celebrate Christmas is because of Jesus's birth and that we need to try to be like Christ in our daily lives and actions.

10-Breathe!!! Eat a cookie, sip some egg nog and remember that ultimately, it doesn't matter if the turkey is dry, cousin Eddie surprises you with a visit or a cat burns down your Christmas tree. The holiday does come to an end and sometimes you just need to sit back and enjoy the ride!

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Shutterfly Holiday Card Promotion!!

2010-11-21T22:40:00.001-05:00

Christmas cards are so much fun to give and receive during the holidays. They're a simple way to show you care and I LOVE getting them in the mail as a kid (heck, I still do!). I know I always loved getting the family photo ones to see how much people have changed since last year & my mom does an amazing "sock monkey Christmas" family photo card every year that my whole family looks forward to. I hope she has time to do it this year again, because it was so much fun seeing what traditional holiday pose she would put her sock monkeys in. She's so creative!

So for as much as I love getting Christmas Cards, the one thing I HATE to do having to spend all of that time signing "Love, Brian, Andrea, Sophia, Madelyn & Noah Campbell" and sticking a wallet sized picture of us with the our names written on the back, inside of it to share with family. We have a big family (with over 30 1st cousins, 14 Aunts & Uncles & 3 sets of grandparents on just MY side--let along adding in Brian's family. Yikes!) and I really do love sharing cards & pictures with everyone, but just HATE signing them. I can't kick my butt into gear to do it, so they always get sent out late. Probably part of my OCD kicking in, but when I heard about Shutterfly's beautiful Christmas cards, I thought, "problem solved!!" A picture and Christmas card in one AND you can personalize them, so no more signing the night away! WOO HOO! But now I have to choose from all of their amazing designs! This may prove to be difficult as there are so many neat ones!!!

I liked this one for something more classic:

Or how about this Christmas photo card to share a few family photos. Lord knows we have plenty to share:

Or simple Happy Holidays cards to share the spirit of the season:

Or how about a classy invitation to your cookie swap! I thought this was ADORABLE:

And Shutterfly doesn't have only holiday cards, they sell all sorts of amazing custom photo items. Brian once got a poster-size print of the two of us to hang. And the picture quality remained outstanding, so I was very impressed! I just wish he would've chose a picture where I didn't have such a goofy grin on my face. hehe. I loved browsing through all they have to offer and boy is there a lot!

Maybe this year I'll make Maddy a personalized birthday card. Can you believe she'll be 2 next month?!!?

Or make Brian a custom mug with pictures of his kids:

Oh the endless possibilities! I may have to get some help figuring out what to get! :o)

Bloggers are eligible to receive 50 free holiday cards from Shutterfly. Find out more about this promotion by filling out the form here.

November is Prematurity Awareness Month

2010-11-17T09:39:00.075-05:00

Every year, 20 million babies are born too soon, too small and very sick--half a million of them in the U.S. November 17th is when we fight!

As you may know, my 2nd daughter, Madelyn, was born at 33 weeks, 6 days due to my rapid progression of severe preeclampsia. She weighed 3lbs, 12oz and was 16 3/4" long. She was smaller than some of Sophia's baby dolls and weighed less than a bag of sugar. Definitely not what I had in mind as the outcome of my 2nd pregnancy! I blogged about our story last year during March of Dimes Bloggers Unite: Fight for Preemies! So here I am, a year later and Maddy is another year older. I am blessed to have had a healthy baby girl despite her being premature, but other parents are not always so lucky.

Just minutes old & so, so tiny.

Did you know that:

1 in 8 babies are born premature in the US (that is approximately 543,000)

The rate of premature birth has risen 30% since 1981.

The effects of an early birth can last a lifetime.

More newborn babies die from premature birth than any other cause.

Almost 40% of premature births do not have a known cause.

The number one known cause is preeclampsia.

Although preeclampsia is the #1 known cause, IT doesn't have a known cause.

1 day old & in the NICU incubator w/tons of monitors & tubes.

I remember reading the pregnancy books about how the baby was developing each week while pregnant with Maddy, and thinking "if she was born today, she would have X% chance of survival". Not knowing that those statistics would soon become more real than I ever imagined. No one ever thinks they're going to have a preemie, so we don't learn about it until we're smacked in the face with it. This is the reason why it's so important to make others aware about premature babies whenever we get the chance!!

Maddy just a few days old--finally getting to hold her in my arms!

I had a healthy (past due even!) pregnancy with Sophia, I had high-ish blood pressure with Maddy, but up until 32 weeks, I never had protein in my urine or any other symptoms. I loved being pregnant & figured I would likely go overdue with this little girl too. I had not started to prepare the nursery since I figured I had plenty of time & I didn't want to "curse" myself and baby comes early because I was prepared. Yeah, that's total crap. I wish I would've at least read up on premature babies and what to expect if I had one. I would've felt more prepared and know what to expect. That's why I'm so passionate about making others aware of prematurity & praying that less and less families have to experience life with a premature baby.

Just over a week old---smaller than my hand; just like a babydoll!

Maddy was so tiny, so helpless and so fragile when she was born. I was afraid to hold her at first and afraid I would break her even just feeding her. We had to make sure only very healthy, clean people would come in contact with her, so I tended to wear her all over the place. Her skin was so sensitive that disposables gave her awful rashes and we switched to cloth diapers. I nursed her as long as I had milk & received donor milk from a dear friend, which I am certain kept her healthy for the first year of her life.

Maddy & Sophie: Easter 2010.

I feel blessed to have had a healthy, normal, term pregnancy since then with Noah, though I was on edge almost the entire time. I was worried when I found out that I was pregnant & already had protein in my urine, that the sweet baby in my belly might not make it. I began to pray every moment of every day to keep us healthy & I know a lot of others did as well. When I made it to the 20 week appointment and we found out there was a baby boy growing inside of me, I started mentally counting down the weeks until he would be "viable if delivered". I had all of his clothes washed and things prepared by 30 weeks. As the weeks continued to pass without me developing preeclampsia again, I felt so blessed and grateful to still be pregnant. I made it past 34 weeks--a personal goal I set in my mind, then 36, then 38...and delivered Noah at 39 weeks, 5 days--2 days before his "due date". He was born healthy & strong & is a completely different baby than Maddy was.

Maddy's a big sister!!

Maddy is now almost 2. While she's still petite, she is doing well & caught up almost everywhere to other children born in January '09. Healthy, strong & a wild personality! She's not saying too many words yet, but tends to mimic whatever we say/do, so I'm trying to not worry yet. She's a fighter. Has been since day 1 and I pray she will will keep using that strength in other areas of her life as she grows up.

Maddy's 1st birthday in January 2010!!

Today we are going back to visit the NICU where Maddy spent the first 18 days of her life. I'm a bit anxious and a bit excited. Anxious because we have not been back yet and I don't know how I'm going to feel--just smelling that same brand of antibacterial soap we have to wash our hands with to get into the NICU brought back tons of emotions. I can only imagine how I will feel actually being there with her nurses & doctors. But I'm also excited. We're NICU graduates! We're part of a small group of people who have been through this & I hope to share our gratitude for taking good care of my baby when I couldn't. I hope to take pictures (even though my camera died & we're hoping to find a good deal on one on black Friday! Maybe I can borrow my father-in-laws?), but I will definitely update you all about how it goes!

Maddy at 19 months!

So wear purple today to show your support, take some time today to hug your little ones (if you have them) & be thankful for them. Not everyone ends up with a happy ending & I know I am so blessed to have one of my own. Learn how you can help support your local NICU, walk as a family for the March for Babies event every spring & join the March of Dimes in the fight for premature babies like my Maddy.

Maddy at 21 months!

We need to fight ― because babies shouldn't have to.

Decluttering

2010-11-15T00:31:00.002-05:00

We've been busy (as usual it seems!) & are trying to get some things organized since 7 people living in a small townhouse is not easy. 1 toy out of the toy room & it suddenly looks very cluttered in here. And 3 kiddos means lots of "stuff" accumulates too.

So I spent last week organizing the girls room & playroom on top of the rest of my daily responsibilities, so any free time I had was spent doing just that. I feel much better now that I'm getting a handle on the clutter and more organized again. I am seriously OCD when things are not in their place. I HATE it & feel so uncomfortable until its resolved.

In the morning, I plan to go through Noah's 0-3 month clothes & replace them with the 3-6 month stuff. I cannot believe he is growing so fast! Over 12lbs now and getting rolls. Love it so much!!

I cannot wait for the clutter to disappear. Yeah, I know it will return, but hopefully we can better manage it.

Next time I need to take before & after shots. I need to be reminded of how it did look, before my 2 girls trash it in 0.02 seconds again! Lol!

I am very anxious for when we get our own place again and declutter our storage unit. That's gonna take forever to go & will feel so good when its over. I will welcome the organization though!

I hope this starts a trend in our lives to declutter more & more!

CSN WINNER!!!

2010-11-09T16:22:00.000-05:00

First of all, I want to thank you all for entering my very first giveaway & bearing with me as I figure out the process! It is too much fun! I hope to have my next one very soon, so keep an eye out for it! It's gonna be tasty!

So without further adieu, the winner is....

16.

Fat Boy Slim said...

I would use my gift card to help me get a Marcy Diamond Smith / Cage - MD9010G

Congrats to the winner! You will have 48 hours to respond to my email or I will have to draw a new winner! Thanks again for entering everyone! :o)

Look what I'm having for lunch!

2010-11-08T14:19:00.001-05:00

Mmmmm! Creamy mushroom soup! And it is SO good! My step-mom, Judy, gave me her recipe & it's one of my all time favorites!!

Don't forget my CSN giveaway ends tonight, so get those last minute entries in! :o)

Vote for Mama Campbell!!

2010-11-06T16:23:00.001-04:00

Please vote for #38-"Mama Campbell" here at Baby Makin(g) Machine's blog! I entered to win a Sprout Change Super Saver Starter Kit to give to my Aunt Sandi for her 2 babies in diapers & want badly to win!

Money is very tight for them & they work so hard to make a happy home for their 5 children ranging from 2 months old to 19 years old. She keeps talking about wanting to venture into cloth diapers for her youngest 2 under 2 years old. She just doesn't have money to spare to start a stash. I hope to win some for her for Christmas since money is super tight here & I can't help buy her any (w/no job offers coming in yet. Keep praying for one to appear soon!) & winning a stash like Jen is offering would be amazing for them! So please vote for us here (she'll randomly draw a name from the people w/the top 5 highest votes on November 14th) & pass it along! Thanks!!

P.S. If you're friends with me or Sandi on facebook, please don't let her know! If we win, I want to surprise her!! :o)

NIP--Nursing In Public

2010-11-03T21:57:00.000-04:00

I've always been pretty modest when nursing my kids. It made me a bit uncomfortable to just "whip it out" (btw-how is it possible to even "whip" a boob out?) & feed my baby. I was shy & it probably contributed also to not being able to nurse my girls very long. With Noah, we live with my inlaws, so I have to be around people if I wanted to nurse him at all, so I had to put my inhibitions aside & just do it.

I remember fumbling with a cover or blanket in those early weeks, trying to unhook the nursing bra and not make a total fool of myself while trying to get Noah latched on properly. I did not want to expose what seemed like the world to any boobage. We kept getting better and better at this nursing thing, so it finally came time to have to NIP--Nurse In Public when Noah was just a few weeks old. We went to a very open, mostly deserted park to let the girls play & he woke up hungry. I got him latched & it was exhilarating! It was like I was having a completely awesome empowering moment feeding my hungry baby!! I fumbled with a cover, but soon realized the only thing I'm actually embarrassed about showing while nursing is my mama-tummy, not a nip-slip! So I made a mental note to wear a belly band in the future & nursed him under a tree.

I've since NIP-ed a lot. Noah tends to prefer outdoor nursing even! Today I nursed in the "target practice" section of the Cabela's store we were visiting. I had a few passersby who were unsure if they should smile, pretend not to look or just ignore me. I don't care what they did--I knew they knew what I was doing and that's the important part. It excited me to have that freedom to feed my baby wherever & whenever it needs to be done. I almost wished someone would ask me to cover, move or leave, so I can throw the law that says I don't have to back in their face! I think my hubby is more concerned with me NIP than I am! I love it & want to expand my list of where I've done it! lol!!

But anyway, I enjoy nursing in public, w/out a cover and try to do it wherever/whenever I can. I want to help show others that it's not indecent, but rather it's one of the 2 main functions of a breast--feeding a baby!! (the other being sexual so a man wants to impregnate his mate--thus providing a newer generation offspring to be fed by said breasts. evolution at its finest.). My girls know that babies need to drink milk from their mommies breasts & Sophie even wants to "help" me sometimes. Not sure how that one works, but I'm glad to be teaching a new generation that breastfeeding is nothing to be scared or ashamed of! Be proud!!

My only problem with NIP is what to do with Maddy (21 months)? She's not one to sit still and wait, and little games/snacks only last so long. Any suggestions??

Hate to just blog & run...

2010-11-02T21:53:00.000-04:00

I have so many things I want to blog about, but rarely get my arms free to type! I'm hoping the craziness dies down this week! But some quick points of interest:

Sophie had her 1st dentist appointment & 4 year checkup. She's the size of a 5 year old (no duh! The kid needs 5T pants they're capris on her!) & our peditrician said she'll probably be pretty bored in kindergarden in 2 years since she passed the developmental screening with flying colors. Good thing for mommy to hear--especially after I felt guilty about not being able to put her in preschool this year. Go Sophie!!

Maddy had a bad ear infection I suspect is still raging on, even after the medicine. She's still pulling at her ear and fussing & we discovered she was allergic to amoxicillin, so she had to be put on benadryl& azithromycin. Poor girl! But she's up to 22lbs now! Yay for growing in the meantime!

And when Noah was weighed the other day (I just wanted to know what he weighed since we were right there anyway!), he was up to 11lbs, 10oz! He's still nursing about 1/2 and 1/2 formula, but I'm actively looking for donor breastmilk now to supplement him with. A friend of mine was talking to me about it and after prayers and thoughts, I know I would rather him be on breastmilk than formula. And if I can find a donor I trust, then that's what we'll do. I will update more about this too. I have a whole post started about it! :o)

Brian's had a few interviews w/no call backs yet & the one company he was working part-time for is closing their doors in a month, so that job opportunity is gone. We're a bit discouraged, but have faith that God will keep us going strong & will help us find work. Please pray hard for us about this. We're ready for full-time work and a home of our own again.

Tomorrow looks like it's going to be another crazy busy day, but I'll somehow make it through! Thanks for keeping with me & don't forget to enter my CSN giveaway! :o)

CSN $35 GC GIVEAWAY!

2010-10-26T22:30:00.005-04:00

Guess what?!?! I'm hosting my very first giveaway! Jocelyn with CSN Stores contacted me a few weeks ago giving me the opportunity to share a great giveaway just for you--my faithful readers! ;o) CSN Stores has over 200 websites and thousands of great products to choose from. They have everything from cute sleepers for baby, to exercise equipment to a dining room table all at reasonable prices. And wouldn't it be great to WIN a $35 gift card to CSN Stores now to get a start on that holiday shopping?!?!

I would love this for Christmas: *hint hint*

and this would be adorable on one of my kids:

and I'm sure Brian would freak if he got this:

See what I mean? What a variety of awesome stuff to choose from! If you'd like to win a $35 Gift Certificate to CSN stores, I've graciously been given the opportunity to give one to one of my followers!!!

Mandatory Entry:

You MUST follow me on Google Friend Connect (right hand side of my blog) AND leave a comment telling me something you would get from CSN Stores if you won!

(this is mandatory. no other entries will count if this is not done.)

Additional Entries:

(leave separate comments for each if you want them to count)

~~Follow CSN Stores on twitter (@CSNStores) for 1 extra entry

~~Follow me (@MamaCampbell) on Twitter for 1 extra entry

~~Tweet the following for 1 extra entry every day (please leave me the url so I can verify your tweet)

#Win a $35 Gift Certificate from @CSNStores from @MamaCampbell http://tinyurl.com/28zq4xb #giveaway

~~Grab my button & tell me where it's posted for 2 extra entries

~~Blog about this giveaway! Make sure you link back to this post. Must be a new blog post written by you(leave me the link or they will not count) for 3 extra entries
~~Sign up for Swagbucks under me here (or grab the link at the bottom of my blog) for 10 extra entries

Giveaway open to US & Canada. Winner will be picked via Random.org & will have 48 hours to respond to my email before an alternative winner is picked. Good luck!

This giveaway will close on November 8th, 2010

Blacksheep

2010-10-19T00:43:00.005-04:00

Sometimes I wish I had a family like a lot of my friends have. Grandparents who go out of their way to see their grandkids & their kids, aunts & uncles who are actually interested in them & what's going on in their lives, and family members who love on everyone. But I guess my family is too large/dysfunctional for that.

My parents were both "black sheep" in their families, so we were born with a strike against us. They didn't live within a mile of any of my grandparents. Strike two. And they didn't visit at least 3-4x a week. Strike three.

It just makes me sad that no matter how hard I try to get to family events & such, I don't get the same treatment in return.

What sparked this feeling was my family had a get-together on Sunday (and didn't tell us until Friday night, so no time to go if I wanted to!) for my cousin who flew in from New Mexico. I never get that same treatment when we drive the 2 hours each way to see them with 3 kids in tow now too. I don't get special parties or even acknowledgment.

When we lived 20 minutes away in Lancaster, they came exactly 1x to visit & that was for Sophie's 1st bday party. They never visited Maddy & obviously no one has ever visited us up here. But yet, they can drive 10 hours this spring to my cousin's fiancé's bridal shower & later on to their wedding. I don't get why we can't be loved as much as my other cousins, but we're not. Its not even close.

And now I found out that my cousin's wife (the one who verbally assaulted me for using cloth diapers) is expecting baby #2. My first thought--that poor baby. 2nd thought, everyone's going to now treat that baby better than my 3 babies combined. *sigh* I just hope my kids don't get wise to how unfairly they get treated. That's the worst feeling & my kids deserve way better than that.

I vow to not have a "favorite" child. NOT EVER. I will not treat my grandchildren the say way I get treated. I want to be a grandparent like my parents are to my kids. Mom goes crazy to find ways to see her grandkids & keep in contact with us. My Dad & Judy plan for our visits & things for the kids to do. They spoil their grandkids equally & love on them all. I know if my brothers have kids (which both say they won't..but who knows!), their kids would be treated the same way mine are.

I don't think grandkids (or now great-grandkids) should be treated as lesser family members. There should not be obvious favorites either. I know this won't change in my family, even though I wish it would. But I can change how future generations are treated!!!

Late Night Ramblings

2010-10-15T00:42:00.002-04:00

I miss having friends. I have online friends which are so great!! And I really hope to get to meet some of them someday, but I still really miss having friends around. Brian's my best friend, but I need friends outside of him. I'm jealous that he gets to see his friends up here all of the time. They hang out, play xbox, watch the game...do guy stuff. I want a friend to go shopping, go play at the park & watch chick flicks with. I miss that so much!!

I'm not an outgoing person, so its hard for me to just go up to someone and chit chat. I'm SO not a small talker...I'm just socially awkward instead. I did have a best friend I got to see a lot of. My brother's ex-girlfriend, Bobbie-Jo. I miss her so much, but as predicted, since she moved away, we've grown apart & she has her own life & friends up there. So yet again, I'm left pretty much friendless. Plus she has a new boyfriend, so I'm sure her small amount of free time just got a heck of a lot smaller.

I feel jaded by people I guess. Every time I put my heart & soul into a friendship, something happens that separates us. Am I just a bad friend? I don't think I am, but why can't I keep a best friend? I'm still broken hearted by losing Josh & deep-down wish he'd talk to me because I need it. But I know that's not gonna happen. He hasn't said 2 words to me in nearly 2 years--and that was just a quick email when Maddy was in the NICU that he was praying for us. I just wish I either had closure with why he stopped talking to me or he'd contact & talk to me again. Wishful thinking there.

I think part of my problem is I'm not happy here, there's nothing to do that doesn't take at least an hour of driving and/or $$$, and I have no privacy/mommy time. I am stuck in a rut. So much I want to talk about, but no one around to just listen. My kids are great, but they can't give me the adult interaction I crave.

I just really hope to find some friends soon.

Future Career Idea??

2010-10-12T22:58:00.001-04:00

So at my 6 week postpartum check-up, I had a long talk with my midwife. We chatted about the typical "how are you feeling?" & "how's the baby sleeping?" type of questions and then we got to talking about how much it meant to me to get my vbac. It was soul cleansing for my body to prove that it indeed can do what I knew it could. And it's amazing how well we're still doing with breastfeeding. I never thought I would make it this far & am so proud of my accomplishment! I've breastfed Noah longer than both girls now & we're still going strong! I do get annoyed with my breasts not making enough milk sometimes & get jealous of moms who can do that. But I'm still a work in progress & am trying to overcome that jealousy. I think it's because I hate bottles & Noah doesn't like them much either. He loves nursing & sometimes when he's upset, the only thing that will calm him down is letting him nurse--no pacis or bottles for this boob man! I need to look into a supplemental nursing system I believe so I can satisfy his desire to nurse & give him the supplement his tummy needs at the same time.

But anyway, my midwife & I were discussing how much I researched & learned about vbac & breastfeeding and how this is something I could research and learn about for hours on end. I absolutely love to learn and I finally found an area I am passionate about. I'm pretty sure we're done w/3 kids, so all of this knowledge just can't go to waste...I want to find some way to share what I know with others. I have a stock pile of books built for this reason & have been collecting them since I was pregnant with Sophia to share, but no one to pass them to. My midwife suggested I look into becoming a hospital social worker with the healthy beginnings program (a program designed to help pregnant women not only medically, but also mentally and emotionally prepare for baby. The workers also work with the women for a period of time postpartum to provide support & help wherever they can.). It sounds like a PERFECT fit for me!!

I LOVE social work. It was a total fit for me educationally & I did fabulously in all of the classes. I love motherhood & have experienced a wide variety of births/children so far--induced "overdue" 31+ hour pitocin labor w/an epi & unintended totally natural delivery; an emergency csection at 33 weeks, 6 days that produced a preemie who stayed in the NICU for 18 days; a labor that started on its own & progressed continuously for 21 hours (including an epi) that became a successful vbac 2 days before my "due date". I've experienced the colicky, high maintenance, reflux baby; the baby who struggles with nursing; the baby later reaching milestones, the baby who doesn't eat much; the baby who defies the "rules" and eats/sleeps when he decides--not 15 minutes each side every 3 hours. I feel that combining the two would be a perfect fit for a career down the road. After the kids are in school all day, I do want to go back to work as long as there's a way I can still be there for them.

I am excited to find a career goal! I've never had dreams of becoming an astronaut or a teacher when I was little. All I wanted to do was become a wife & mother. I've met that goal & love it, but know I will need to figure out something else to do once the kids are older & eventually moved out (scary thought! they're too little to grow up like that darnit!). I went into college undeclared & fell into social work. I had no career planned out, though I thought about school counseling at some point. I just knew I wanted to help people, but not sure what direction I'd eventually work in. Now I have a goal...something I'm excited about & I can't believe I never thought about this as a career choice! Here's hoping something pans out in the future! :o)

Disposables are Disgusting

2010-09-30T16:52:00.000-04:00

We used disposable diapers & hybrids during our trip to Indiana since we figured it would be easier to travel with and we weren't sure of the laundry facilities available to us. Oh I do NOT miss using them one bit!! I missed my babies cloth diapers & was anxious to return to get back in them!!!

Aside from the adorable factor a fluffy bum creates, cloth diapers are just far superior to disposables. The only blow outs we've had in the past year & a half have been strictly from disposables not holding up to the job. (Not even user error--and that shocks me since hubby doesn't always put cloth diapers on correctly! ;o) Love you honey!) Well no wonder! The fit on those things are awful in comparison to cloth diapers! They don't hug around your babies legs like they should and certainly do not allow you to adjust the absorbency or fit. In fact, Noah's size 1 disposable diapers were a full inch shorter on each leg than his cloth are. No wonder he had blow outs with them & NEVER in his cloth--there's just not enough diaper to hold the explosive breastfed newborn poo in! Maddy's weren't any better with the diaper shifting, sliding & sagging, so leaks were inevitable. Good thing I packed a lot of spare outfits for Maddy & Noah!!

I HATED having to throw them away. I felt so guilty about the trash we created that will not even being to decompose in my great great great grandchildren's lifetime. It was a LOT of trash for 2 butts for only a week too. I can only imagine the waste the Duggar's babies have created throughout the years. Yikes!! I hate the idea of only getting to use something 1x and quite literally throwing your money away. Just think of all of the money we could have saved if we knew how easy (and dare I say fun?) cloth diapers were when Sophie was still wearing them!!

And another thing about those disposables...OH how bad it smelled! Besides the diaper's typical odd chemical odor (even the "hypoallergenic" ones we used on Maddy), when either of the kids peed it reeked of urine and chemicals. Let alone a poop diaper. Look out! You smelled them the moment they pooped and it permeated the room and trashcan. I put some in my travel wet bag when we were traveling w/out a trash can nearby and that was the only thing that helped cut down the smell. I flushed whatever poo I could down the toilet to help cut the odor (like it does with cloth), but it didn't make much of a difference.

So, while I am glad for the ease of travel (as in: not having to do diaper laundry while we were away), I certainly plan to find a way to bring cloth diapers along on our next trip--I will MAKE it work! You know, because cloth diapers are just that much better!!

My Life's Journey: With Mama Campbell

*Sigh*

Sleep continued...

Sleep

My "Cloth Diapers Explained" Post! (part 1)

Happy Belated Birthday Sophia!

Semi-Wordless Wednesday: Preemie Breast Milk

Crib sleeper?

We have good news & a plan!

Random Nursing Toddler Musings

Eat Noah Eat!

Mr. Noah is a Whole Year Old!!

Far far away

Wordless Wednesday: My WALKER!!!

Oh poo!

Insomnia & Family

HS Facebook Friendings

Unattaching?

Wordless Wednesday: Grandma & her Campbell kids

I'm a slacker

SeaPak Review & Giveaway!!

Ask & Ye Shall Recieve: Eats on Feets Addition

Wordless Wednesday--Recycled Crayons

Sleep Will Happen (ie: I'm feeling a bit better about it)

Sleep Help NEEDED--PLEASE!!

Wordless Wednesday--"Clown Makeup" Maddy

CSN Review (from November)

updates and random thoughts again

Making A Difference

I'm Ready!

But Birth IS Beautiful

Creeptastic Situation

Wordless Wednesday: Snow Cream

Wordless Wednesday--2 years ago today...

Schedules

Well Check-Ups x2

Wordless Wednesday--First Foods

Miscellany Monday

Wordless Wednesday--Her Second 2nd Birthday

I cannot believe it!

Wordless Wednesday--Sometimes...

Feeling a Little Discouraged...

Wordless Wednesday--Proud Moment

Breastfeeding Blog Hop!

Host: @LifeWithLevi

Co-Hosts: @PlayersNamed, @iamambermccann

This Week’s Guest Host:

@briemarisa1977

Here are the guidelines for this blog hop:

Bewb obsession!!

Wordless Wednesday--Grandfatherly Love

Will It Ever Get Easier?

Halfway To A Wig

Wordless Wednesday--They do share...

Christmas 2010 Update!!!! (LONG, but there's pictures!)

Want a Christmas Card??

Please Help--Fluff Baby Home Raffle Fundraiser

Farm Rich Snacks WINNERS!!

Go Ravens!!!

Campbell Family Christmas Card 2010

Wordless Wednesday: Start 'Em Young!

For the Love of Cosleeping

Farm Rich Snacks Review & Giveaway

CSN Store Product Review Coming Soon!

She Talks!

I'm Very Thankful...

Wordless Wednesday: Chocolate Pretzel Bribery

10 Holiday Survival Tips!

Shutterfly Holiday Card Promotion!!

November is Prematurity Awareness Month

Decluttering

CSN WINNER!!!

Look what I'm having for lunch!

Vote for Mama Campbell!!

NIP--Nursing In Public

Hate to just blog & run...

CSN $35 GC GIVEAWAY!

Blacksheep

Late Night Ramblings

Future Career Idea??

Sigh