I've been going back and forth with deciding to have Newbie circumcised or not. Ever since I saw pictures of a sweet baby boy being circumcised, I can't imagine putting Newbie through it, but I know hubby wants it done. I have questions for both sides of the argument & am hoping I can get some answers from real life experiences. Googling it doesn't seem to help us make our decision any easier--lots of shock factor articles our there, but doesn't help us gain perspective for either side really.
What are some of the cons I can share? Are there any pros aside from appearance (ie: "he looks like me" mentality)? How does one know they're properly cleaning an uncircumcised penis? How does one deal with a healing circumcision after baby has it done?
Did you have your son circumcised? What did they do for comfort for him? Was it hard to clean while healing? Would you change your mind if you could do it again? What were your reasons for having it done?
Is your son still intact? Have you had any complications because of it? Is it hard to clean/teach him how to clean? Would you change your mind if you could do it again? What were your reasons for keeping him intact?
If you could help me understand pros/cons to circumcision better, I'd really appreciate it. I want to present hubby with a logical argument for both sides if possible since this really is a big deal for Newbie & we've only got a few more weeks until he arrives. Thank you!!
Friday, May 14, 2010
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I want to start by saying that we were going to get Aiden circumcised. I don't know why, because DH is not circumcised but we figured we would do it. When the nurse came to take Aiden, DH changed his mind and said no. I can't tell you the relief that I felt!
ReplyDeleteMy friend had her little boy circumcised and I went to see him when he was 5 day old. She changed his little diaper and he screamed his head off and his penis was SO red and distorted looking and sticking to the diaper that I felt HORRIBLE for him. The gel they give you to keep it from sticking wasn't helping at all. I told her I felt really bad for him and her words were, "I know, I wish I hadn't have had it done."
There are no special instructions for cleaning an uncircumcised penis at all! There is no difference for a little boy who is not circumcised than for a little boy who is. You do not pull the skin back to wash or anything until it starts to retract on it's own which is between 4-5 years of age! Manually pulling it back before then can tear the skin and do damage. So there's no difference until they're about 5.
Now when they get to the age to pull the skin back, they just need to pull it back and wash the penis. No big deal, no hassle!
I also wanted to talk about the cosmetic look. I assure you that a circumcised penis and an uncircumcised penis look exactly the same when erect!
There is evidence that circumcising removes actual nerve endings that aide in the pleasure of sex too.
Also - I posted this last year and in the comments some readers leave good links. I suggest you read those too!
http://zookeeperjess.blogspot.com/2009/08/aidens-appt.html
Good luck. I know it's overwhelming. I'm really glad we didn't do it though.
In our area it's about 50% circ'd 50% not so "being weird" in the locker rooms isn't a concern either.
After 5 girls, I never thought I'd have to have this discussion. I was honestly glad too. I didn't look forward to it. My husband was for it. I was against it. So when we found out our last baby was a boy, I had a lot to deal with. In the end we chose to circumcise. I had talked to our pediatrician and he was ok with it. But what came down to it, was I was worn out.
ReplyDeleteWhen we got him circumcised, he never had problems when we changed his diaper. My husband was in the room during the procedure. He only cried when he was being strapped down. Then he was perfectly fine and was just digging the sugar water.
I was freaked about the healing and was just a mess. It wasn't bad but I hated it! It looked so wrong (but of course it looked wrong being uncirced too. I think it was wrong cuz I'm so used to girls.) But now we are 6 weeks out and he is doing fabulous. I wasn't told that you needed to pull it back to keep skin from reattaching, so check with the dr.
Honestly, if I had the choice, I would refuse it. Even though it's fine now, I just feel horrible. I literally cried at most of his changings even though he was fine with it. So good luck!
Thank you for your comments. I'm learning a lot more about how it affects people psychologically rather than just physically--which is what I was hoping to learn.
ReplyDeleteI've had both my boys circ'd and though I didn't have any compelling reasons to do or not to do it, we are happy with the decision. My first son strangely didn't make a peep AND didn't take the sugar water bottle. Weird. My second crieda bit but not much. The healing process was easy for both. It is a bright, angry red mess down there for a couple days and can even be a bit swollen, but neither boy honestly seemed in much discomfort. I kept them both well covered with about a tablespoon sized glob of petroleum jelly (the only time I'd ever use that product) so their diapers didn't stick. Then I protected my cloth dipes with a small piece of cotton velour which I'd wash separately from the dipes.
ReplyDeleteFor us, I guess the reasons to do it included looking like Daddy and a bad experience I had with my former fiance. He was an impeccably clean guy and very healthy. And uncirc'd. I had chronic infections and gynecological problems until after we broke off our engagement and broke up. Then I was fine. After 7 years of that. My midwife figured that he had some kind of bacteria or something that wasn't bothering him but greatly affected me. So I guess that always stuck in my mind as an argument for circ. But it was a pretty random thing.
I wish you the best with your decision and I'll say that in the grand scheme even tho it seems like a big thing now, either choice you make will be fine. :)
i'm in the group who had their boy circumcised and really wished that we would have done more research before deciding to go that route, because knowing what i know now, i too would refuse.
ReplyDeleteit came down to this for me: its his body, his choice.
best of luck in your decision- i know how tough it can be. ((hug))