Wednesday, November 2, 2011


So lately I've been really been resenting cosleeping with Noah. It's not bad if it's just the two of us, but with Brian in bed too, there's just no room. I've typically just rocked him or nursed him to sleep & then put him in the crib. He would wake after about an hour, I'd rock him back to sleep & he would sleep 2 hours & back up again. Then he would refuse to settle until we got up for the day. He wouldn't nurse, lay down in his spot (or any spot for that matter), would flip around, hit, fuss & cry. It's just been awful lately. He sleeps fine enough at my dad's where he has his own space in the room where the kids & I sleep, but once we are home: forget it!! I'm just tired of being so tired from it. My patience is thin, I'm short with my kids, I'm bitchy & just apathetic. Something needs to change & change soon. So tonight the girls camped out on the floor in our room while I let Noah cry it out. I went in every few minutes to calm him & then put him back in the crib where he instantly screamed & cried again. After an hour of this going in every 5 minutes, calming for 5-10 minutes, rinse & repeat....well, he did eventually fall asleep on his own about an hour ago. I feel bad for letting him cry, but I can't take it & Brian's no help with the nighttime routine. I wish I was a perfect mom who could handle a kid like him without crying.
I can't help but wonder if this might help Noah when I drop him off at the church nursery--he will know that I will be back for him then. I love being a 24/7 mommy at home with my kids, but I do need a little time to be me as well. I wish he would go to anyone but me all of the time. Is it possible he is too overly attached to his mama? Because if so, he definitely is. Ugh!!
I just don't know what else to do here. I just need Noah to sleep at night. Period. Then we can work on naps. Ugh. :(


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