Everyone is sleeping...

Everyone is sleeping and I should be too, but instead I want to take advantage of a free moment at the computer. I seem to rarely get on here lately and my blackberry is definitely well-used to the point of needing to get a new one, since it is eligible for upgrade now. I just need to clear my mind and then hopefully get an hour of sleep before miss Maddy wakes up to eat.

She's been eating every hour or two all day! Talk about a growing day! I'm hoping tonight is the sleeping part of the growing day. lol! I'm glad I was able to feed her at least 1 feeding of my milk everyday for my goal of 6 weeks & as of Sunday, I will reach my goal of 2 months. I am SO tired of being hooked to the pump and after Sunday, I may cut out pumping sessions which will probably screw my supply over even more, but I will keep going each day and seeing how I'm doing. I just am so proud of how big she is getting and knowing I contributed to that (to me she seems huge already; to everyone else in the world, she looks like a tiny newborn baby) and I love how snuggly she is and how she loves her Mama. She knows my voice and scent and her eyes look for me when she hears my voice. My words can calm her down when I'm making her a bottle. My snuggling can put her to sleep in absolutely no time. She is such an amazing blessing from God!!

I always knew I would have a girl. I used to pray for her before I was even pregnant with her. But God had even better plans and blessed us twice! Seeing them in their Easter dresses (free thanks to freecycle! woo hoo!) really makes me even more excited about how fortunate I am to have 2 amazing little girls of my own. Sure, I would love a son and I know Brian would love one as well, but if God blesses our next pregnancy with another girl, I know my heart would be satisfied. It's a good feeling to know that. :o) And don't worry, we're not even talking about more babies until Maddy's AT LEAST 18 months old to let my body heal and I hope to get my blood pressure under control way before then and hopefully avoid all of that preecalmpsia junk next time around. I've also been hearing a bit about VBAC and would love to have plenty of time to research it as well.

I am really hoping to find a source of extra income soon. Aside from getting current on bills, I am desperate to join a gym or Curves. I need to get active to lose weight and get this blood pressure under control. I need to get out of my house and have to pay for that service, so I actually do it. I am too cheap to pay for something and not use it. I know me that way! haha. I dont' like having to be on blood pressure medication and while I am at my pre-pregnancy weight (and almost there from Sophia), I know I need to lose a substancial amount to feel healthy and good about myself again. So please encourage me if you can! I want to be the best Mommy I can be, and this week I am officially allowed to exercise again (I guess as of today), so I want to get my butt moving!

I need to go to bed now so I'm not a complete Zombie when Maddy wakes up soon. :o)