Dreams...

I dreamt about him (Josh) again. It must be because I know I'll probably see him next month at Hope & Kevin's wedding. I know its because I still really miss him. He emailed me when Maddy was in the NICU to say he was praying for us, but I haven't heard from him since. That was the first I heard from him in well over a year!! I do try to keep in contact with his mom Trudy still because she is just such a sweetheart and I really did form a close relationship with her too. It just depresses me when I dream of him because I wake up and have to realize he isn't in my life anymore. In my dream, he was following me around the mall and having such a good time. I just miss him. He was my best friend and I haven't had anyone close to me since him. I guess I just wish I'd know why he doesn't talk to me anymore so I can try to make things right, as I've been trying to do for well over a year, but I probably just need to come to terms with never being in his life anymore and try to make myself move forward. *sigh* It doesn't make my heart hurt any less though......