So we have a praise to report. Brian was offered a job on Thursday & he starts tomorrow! It's great hours, and there's potential to move upward. The downside is that the pay isn't great (better then no money though!) and the fact that it's far from Brian's parent's house. He will have to stay at my dad's house during the week to make any money otherwise all of his paycheck basically goes to gas. Once we could get a 2nd car, we could travel more to see Brian after Sophie's school day is over and such, but who knows when that might be. So in an effort to keep our family unit together, he asked my dad & step-mom if they would let us stay here with them until we get money saved and such to move out on our own again. That wouldn't be too big of a deal if it was still summer, but Sophie is about to start kindergarden in 2 weeks, so that throws a big wrench into the plan. We would have to reregister Sophie here, which means more stress for me--figuring out what she needs in her new school, how to get her to and from (we only have 1 car & they only provide transportation 1 way whereas our current district provides transportation both ways), and how to prepare her to not go to school with her friends or really see them much anymore. She likes being at Oma & Opa's house for a few days, then gets bored and misses her friends, so how will she handle not seeing them for weeks at a time?
And after 3 years of resisting putting down roots or making connections where we are, I finally have a very good friend, I've been making connections with the LLL people and WIC people to help me get started with the lactation consultant stuff, and making friends with the neighbors. All of our stuff is there, so we would need to move things out here, which would require more gas to get there & back too. Plus the fact that it's hard to live with 7 people in a teeny tiny house (it's a 1 level 2 bedroom, 1 bath house that's basically the size of an apartment but at least has a yard compared to living in a 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath townhouse with common areas of grass, but no yard) with pets and carpet that I'm allergic to so my allergies go crazy.
I guess it's my anxiety really kicking in and being afraid of change. What happens if something goes south with Brian's job? Then we're stuck here with Sophie in school here until he finds something else. Or what if it takes a long time to even have money saved up enough to move out on our own? He will not be making much money at all, and while I hope we get some part time job hours still, it won't be enough to help out much when we still have bills to pay off to just be back in the positive again. Ugh.
But a plus to being here, my dad & step-mom are amazing grandparents and love and support in every way they can. We're closer to our church & closer to my mom when she visits (and easier visits since Sophie will only be 45 minutes away compared to 2 extra hours so we could meet up in the morning or afternoon depending on when Sophie has school).
So many major decisions to make this week & I frankly wish I didn't have to do it. Any thoughts of encouragement/advice/prayers very welcomed!!
6 days ago