Dreams again

I hate when I dream of Josh because it makes me miss him. I haven't dreamed of him in months, but last night I dreamed we were at some camp and fighting in the kitchen about why he stopped communicating with me. I remember yelling at him that he promised not to let Russell's words be true and that we weren't Will & Grace for real. We didn't need to fight anymore. Then we made a gooey butter cake for everyone to share. No matter how long it goes on, I still have hope that one day we'll be friends again (I know Brian misses him too) and that I can finally share my daughters with him. After all, Maddy was born on his birthday!!! He's the only friend I ever truly considered my brother...my twin. He was the best friend I ever had & while I pray for him everyday in my prayers that he's safe & happy & finds the man of his dreams, part of me wishes I was still part of his life. I'm not so eager to trust having another best friend as close as we were, so I don't get my heart broken again. It feels a little better to just get some of these feelings out.