Doctors Annoy Me...

So today I went to my NST & midwife appointment as usual. My blood pressure was back to "normal" (for me) & the NST went well. When I got back to the room for my appointment, the midwife wanted to talk to me about what the maternal fetal medicine doctor recommended after my appointment on Friday. He wants me to schedule a c-section for 39 weeks exactly since I'm high risk (though I have had NO pre-e symptoms yet *knock on wood*). I asked her what the difference was between 39 weeks & 40 weeks and she said she honestly didn't know what he thought. But she wants me to see my OB rather than a midwife (it's a large practice mixed w/midwives & doctors) to discuss it since they are the ones who make the medical decisions like that. She did say that she will have scheduling call me to set up the csection rather than setting it up in the office and if I "accidentally" forget to return their call to schedule to not worry about it. ;o) I also had her note in my chart that I REALLY do not want a csection & will do everything I can to avoid one.

But I know what the doctor is going to say. "We won't allow any induction methods, since they could possibly soften your csection scar tissue...the risk of fetal death increases...the risk of uterine abruption increases...the risk of putting even more money into my pocket increases with a scheduled csection..." They forget to mention that you have a higher risk of fetal death or uterine abruption with a routine amnio, but they make more money w/amnios & csections than vbacs, so they try to scare you into that csection.

I just want the csection on MY terms if I NEED it--after I get a trial at labor darnit! I don't like being bullied into something there's no need for. I don't like being treated like I'm an idiot or uninformed patient & I don't believe any patient should be treated that way either! Now, if there's a genuine emergency that warrants a very quick delivery, then I'm ok with it. I just don't want to feel so vulnerable & violated like I was w/Maddy. Why don't doctors care about my FULL well being? The midwives seem to get it! All they care about is their wallets!!!

So I'm going to try to spend the next week getting my facts straight & build up my backbone to talk to the doctor. I don't want to get scared or back down like I'm afraid I will. Doctors intimidate me and I really shouldn't let them.

I do know that as of Friday I will start taking evening primrose oil supplements daily & eventually trying a few other things to "naturally" kick start my body into labor so I won't even have to worry about a scheduled csection or anything. I'm not stressed about my water breaking or making it to the hospital despite our nearly 2 hour drive there, but I am super stressed about being unwillingly cut open. So wish me luck on Tuesday!!!