Blacksheep

Sometimes I wish I had a family like a lot of my friends have. Grandparents who go out of their way to see their grandkids & their kids, aunts & uncles who are actually interested in them & what's going on in their lives, and family members who love on everyone. But I guess my family is too large/dysfunctional for that.

My parents were both "black sheep" in their families, so we were born with a strike against us. They didn't live within a mile of any of my grandparents. Strike two. And they didn't visit at least 3-4x a week. Strike three.

It just makes me sad that no matter how hard I try to get to family events & such, I don't get the same treatment in return.

What sparked this feeling was my family had a get-together on Sunday (and didn't tell us until Friday night, so no time to go if I wanted to!) for my cousin who flew in from New Mexico. I never get that same treatment when we drive the 2 hours each way to see them with 3 kids in tow now too. I don't get special parties or even acknowledgment.

When we lived 20 minutes away in Lancaster, they came exactly 1x to visit & that was for Sophie's 1st bday party. They never visited Maddy & obviously no one has ever visited us up here. But yet, they can drive 10 hours this spring to my cousin's fiancé's bridal shower & later on to their wedding. I don't get why we can't be loved as much as my other cousins, but we're not. Its not even close.

And now I found out that my cousin's wife (the one who verbally assaulted me for using cloth diapers) is expecting baby #2. My first thought--that poor baby. 2nd thought, everyone's going to now treat that baby better than my 3 babies combined. *sigh* I just hope my kids don't get wise to how unfairly they get treated. That's the worst feeling & my kids deserve way better than that.

I vow to not have a "favorite" child. NOT EVER. I will not treat my grandchildren the say way I get treated. I want to be a grandparent like my parents are to my kids. Mom goes crazy to find ways to see her grandkids & keep in contact with us. My Dad & Judy plan for our visits & things for the kids to do. They spoil their grandkids equally & love on them all. I know if my brothers have kids (which both say they won't..but who knows!), their kids would be treated the same way mine are.

I don't think grandkids (or now great-grandkids) should be treated as lesser family members. There should not be obvious favorites either. I know this won't change in my family, even though I wish it would. But I can change how future generations are treated!!!