Sunday, May 27, 2012

Repressing the Desire to Help

Sometimes I hate that I'm a caring person who desires to help people. I hate it because I don't have the money to help them, but the desire doesn't go away.  It usually gets stronger and I can't stop thinking about it.  Right now, it's on my heart to help a friend who lost most of her cloth diaper stash in a dryer fire about 2 weeks ago.  She has an 18 (almost 19) month old son & is expecting a baby girl this summer and was drying diapers when it happened.  Thank God that no one was hurt & the fire was contained to the laundry room and a bit of the backroom.  She said insurance will help with some of the expenses, but who knows when that will be and they need diapers like yesterday. She has 4 pockets left & 1 newborn fitted that was spared, but everything else was burned or PUL melted in the heat or just ruined. They lost a baby swing out there too, but I found one of those on freecycle the other day and she said her hubby picked it up yesterday. She has been battling depression throughout this pregnancy & I just wish I could do more to help her.  I just want to help and give her some hope darnit!

I spent the morning (skipping church because we woke up late! shhh!) looking on fb and diaperswappers for ultra cheap diapers, but I just can't afford to buy her what I'd love to.  I'm going to try to make a fitted or two out of tshirts we have lying around, but my sewing skills aren't grand yet and I'm terrified of working with elastic for some crazy reason. I just hate having this extremely strong desire to help and not having the finances to do so. I've been praying like crazy for her and her family, but sometimes it feels like prayers just are not enough.

And I know my family could use prayers so we can get out from under this rock of extreme financial hardship too, as we're down to just Brian working sporadic part time hours now.  I wish there was a way to make money from home that wasn't babysitting kids. I hate watching someone's kids, getting used to a little extra income and loving on the kiddo & then them moving away suddenly. I guess that's why I wish to become a birth doula, since it's a way to help someone (in a field I am utterly passionate about) and receive some payment for without tons of time away from my family except for when the mama is in labor. :)  It will happen someday, but somedays seem so far away!

Ok, enough venting. Must go make lunch for the boy & be productive. The girls are with my dad & Judy in the mountains, so it's strange having time to do stuff w/out everyone up my rear every moment. Must take advantage of this break! haha.

UPDATE: After sharing my friend's story a few places online, I was able to get her a BUNCH of pockets, flats, a few covers and I made her a wet bag.  Plus some baby girl clothes. I am constantly amazed by the generosity and decency of people out there.  Especially fellow cloth diapering mamas being amazing!


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